As #myprecious turns 9, I feel so very blessed to have the privilege of being her mom and I feel led to share her adoption story.
"Halfway to adulthood." While I was teaching her to read this year in homeschool, I said to her one day, "Learning to read well is very important. You're almost halfway to adulthood. We don't have much time left." At that moment it hit me. She's halfway to adulthood! I DON'T have much time left ... with her! Raising a child is such a long process, but gone in the blink of an eye.
Before we knew about her, I was fighting CPS to get custody of her older brothers. I was told by CPS to support the birth parents in getting their boys back, so I did what I could from 17,000 miles away to help them. The birth parents finally lost their parental rights and CPS chose an aunt-by-marriage who was divorced from the uncle for them to live with because she lived in their county. I was devastated, but God said "no." I don't take "no" very well. I cried out to God and asked why I can't have those boys. God very clearly said to me, "Those boys are easy and she can handle them. I have other children for you." I cried and asked why I can't have easy kids, too! That door closed and I tried to move on. Then, I learned the birthmom was pregnant. They were told this baby was not part of the case and they could keep her, so I went there when she was born to be a support person for them. However, reason to remove her from the family was found and CPS started a case, but the birth parents signed her over to me immediately, avoiding removal by CPS.
I was visiting her in the hospital after she was born every 2-3 days. One day, as I held her, I asked God if she was going to be with me or if I was going to lose her, too. She looked up and smiled at me and I knew the answer. Her birthmom said that was the first time she had her eyes open since she was born. The Friday the birth parents signed her over to me, I went to visit her again but was not allowed to go in to visit. The hospital said CPS had a case on her and the new foster parents were visiting her that weekend, so no one else was allowed in! I was upset and fearful, doubting my chances of being her mom. We were all staying in the RV in the nearest Walmart Wilderness for the 2 weeks she was in NICU to be close to the hospital, hot and tired. Angrily, I gave God an ultimatum! I said I was so tired of living without modern conveniences and if I don't get a decision about the baby by Monday I was going home. I heard nothing from God, but Monday morning the lawyer called me and told me to hurry up and go to the hospital to pick up the baby before CPS changes their mind. I rushed on over with all my kids at the time and got that little 4-pound premie. She has been such an easy child to raise: sweet, joyful, kind, and has a heart for God and His people.
I don't recommend putting God to the test like that, but I think He understands I was stressed out and tired! LOL. His grace and mercy are abundant. Read more about His Goodness here.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His mercy is everlasting.
Psalm 100:4-5
