How God Provides ... in Advance

I'm a little behind with my blog posts ... by about 3 years! At any rate, when I adopted my Texan Princess, she was born at 32 weeks and was diagnosed with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS). Each time I visited the hospital NICU, the nurses would explain that she wasn't feeling very well and that her withdrawal symptoms were bad. Every time I saw her, she was asleep. Sometimes she had hiccups. Apparently that's a withdrawal symptom. She had many of the symptoms listed in the link above.

Because I had absolutely no experience with this, I went to good old Google. I learned that babies born exposed to drugs are often born early and, because they're born early, they do not suffer through their symptoms so much. They sleep through them! So, she had symptoms for 4 months, gradually reduced over time, but she slept through the first 2 months of them.

It is so cool to me that God provided a way to protect innocent children from the most severe consequences of their parents' poor choices.  I realize not all children are born early and do not sleep through their severe symptoms. This is how it worked out for us and I feel so incredibly blessed by it, and so is she. Although she was a little behind in most of her developmental milestones, she is on target and doing well. I know God has a plan for her life and I can't wait to see how He uses her.

I have no words to explain the blessing that she is to me. I was well beyond child-bearing years. I felt I did a horrible job raising my first babies as an unsaved mother. She is my "second chance", my "round two" in parenting as a saved mother. What a difference! I am forever grateful.

If you want to see how God has worked in her siblings' lives, check out the links in Who We Are.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart..." Jeremiah 29:11-13
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

Looking for Partners in Caring for the Orphans

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Psalm 82:3

I'm an adoptive mom. That is my calling. My ministry. I've adopted many older children from foster care. Many have traumatic backgrounds or disabilities of various kinds. There are other children I tried to adopt but, for one reason or another, it didn't go through. I was matched with siblings then a relative stepped up to adopt them. I was matched with other siblings and the foster parents ultimately decided to adopt them. Some children I sought out but was never able to connect with their workers before they aged out. There is this one boy ...

Once upon a time, a biological sibling to one of my children was placed with us, but the adoption was never consummated. He returned to a residential treatment facility, as his needs were too great for me at the time. He has grown up in facilities. Not families. Facilities. It breaks my heart.

At any rate, we love him. We've kept in touch. I recently had the opportunity to meet with him. He is doing well. He has grown and matured so much!

Also, his wisdom teeth have grown in and crowded out his already crooked teeth. Mind you, I requested he get assessed for braces 5 or more years ago. I was told it would be done. Medicaid would not pay for his braces, as he didn't meet the criteria. Over time, his teeth have gotten worse and now he is too old for Medicaid to pay for braces anyway. He has one tooth sticking out his right cheek. He has one tooth that sticks up under his tongue! He has other crooked teeth and I don't think his bottom teeth match up to his top teeth in order for him to chew properly. I noticed he's very thin and he eats only small amounts of food at a time. This situation breaks my heart. So, of course I offered to pay for braces for him.

I'm looking for partners in this, if God is willing. Prayer partners can pray for his continued healing, as God has worked in this boy's life, that the money will come my way, and that my family can get through this 2-year commitment. I'm not wealthy by any means. I don't even have the Dave-Ramsey-suggested emergency fund built back up yet. But I do know that God provides. He provides for our every need. I'm humbled by His Goodness and Generosity. He is "a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." (Psalm 68:5) He also sees the trouble of the afflicted; and considers their grief and takes it in hand. The victims commit themselves to him; he is the helper of the fatherless. (Psalm 10:14)

The down payment is $800 with a $200-per-month commitment for 2 years. If you feel called to become a financial partner in this in any way, any and all help would be greatly appreciated. I have a donate button on my blog. I also have Paypal. If you'd like to deal directly with the orthodontist, I can get you that information, as well. If you'd like to send him an encouraging note, I can surely pass that along, too.

I thank you for your prayers, gifts, and encouragement. May your blessings abound.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

I love this quote:

Two Who Climbed to the Top, and Made It

I haven't posted in awhile, and there's much in our lives I haven't blogged about, but this ... this is exciting.
For all you parents who are wondering what will happen to your children with special needs when they're grown, for those struggling with FASD/FAE, ASD or developmental delays, Behavioral/emotional issues, or any other roadblock to what society considers a normal adulthood. There is hope for their future. These 2 teenagers have just been accepted into the Culinary Arts program at Job Corps.

I couldn't be more proud and excited for them. When I adopted them at ages 7 and 14, they couldn't read or write at all. They didn't understand much of the language people used in every day speech. They had a very hard time controlling their emotions and behavioral responses to anger. They had suffered the loss of their biological families and, for one, the loss of several foster and potential adoptive homes.
When I first met them, I was told they'd never learn like other children, that they'd always need to live with me and be cared for by me. I was told they'd be a burden on my family, especially when I die, and possibly a burden on society forever. I was told by Job Corps that they cannot accept children with special needs like theirs. I never bought into any of that thinking for any of my children. Did I worry about their future? Definitely. Some days I wanted to give up on them like others had. Some days were hard, but I'm quite sure every day has been hard for them. Despite their tumultuous lives, they've embraced Jesus and earnestly seek Him and have overcome so much. They've made it!
I am not a perfect parent, not by a long shot. I'm no expert of any kind but I do know to point people to the cross. I provided opportunities and support. That's it. We are a Homeschooling family. Despite my flaws, I am honored that God chose to use me in their lives. This milestone reassures me that God has a place and a purpose for all of us. What a great God we serve.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

National Adoption Month

It's National Adoption Month!

Nationwide, 30,000 adolescents age out of the foster care system yearly. According to the Child Welfare League of America, 25% are homeless, 56% are unemployed, 27% of males end up in jail and 30% of females have children of their own shortly after aging out.

This map shows the number of children available for adoption and the number of churches in each state. if just one family from each church adopts one child, there wouldn't be enough children. These statistics blow my mind.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

You don't have to foster or adopt to help children in care. There are many ways you can help. You can help families who do foster or adopt by being a shoulder to lean on, a child''s mentor or respite worker, or you can help in tangible ways like mowing their lawn or preparing a meal when they're going through a hard time with one or more of their children. You can visit websites to find other ideas, like here.

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.
Psalm 82:3

Angels in Adoption trip to Washington, DC

We met Congressman Donald Norcross at a community event last November. He nominated me as an Angel in Adoption and I was chosen for the honor for NJ. People or organizations are chosen from each state.
It was wonderful to meet other people in the foster care/adoption arena and talking with others who have a heart for foster children and orphans and a passion to give them a permanent, stable family. It was also wonderful to meet the interns working for CCAI, the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute. They were all in "the system" at one time, many had aged out of foster care. When the children were asked to share what they loved most about the Angels events, my son Daniel brought tears to people's eyes when he said his favorite part was meeting the interns and seeing that they are successful and doing positive things in the world and not just another negative statistic.
On day 1, we checked in and met people from different agencies to learn what they do to help children. Then, we were given a walking tour of the Capitol Building and a bus tour of the city. The day ended with a dessert social.

On day 2, we attended the Congressional lunch and chatted with Congressman Norcross. I received my Angels pin. Then, we visited Arlington Cemetery where we watched the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and saw the eternal flame at JFK's grave site.

I could not attend day 3 activities as I had court to begin my littlest one's adoption. I did attend the gala that evening with my oldest son.

It was a blessing and an honor to be chosen as an Angel in Adoption and meet so many wonderful people.

One Month of Thankfulness

I've been doing a status update each day in November to say something I'm thankful for that day. Today, there are too many people to thank for a status update; I felt it needed an entire blog post.

There are many days when I'm caring for the Texan Princess that I think about someone who's helped provide for her, even in the smallest of ways. I love my "village".



I'm thankful for my Church Family, especially my Texas friends at Mayfield Park Church, who welcomed us in, made us feel at home, fed us with thought-provoking, bible-based sermons and Celebrate Recovery, and provided diaper bags, clothing, carseat covers, and so many other baby items.

 



I'm also thankful for my New Jersey friends at Fellowship Community Church for the excellent sermons, Celebrate Recovery along with The Landing and Teen Chat, and for the stroller, swing, changing table, exersaucer, and many other baby items gifted to us.

 



I'm thankful for my friends and former students, who gifted us with clothing, carseats, playmats, bouncy seats, and various other baby items as well as support and love.



I'm also thankful for the FulltimeFamilies RV group and for their love, support, friendship, cribs, clothing, and other baby items gifted to us.

I'm especially thankful for my son, Arthur, who is an amazing young man who takes excellent care of the Princess in my absence. His love for her is evident without question.





I'm always thankful for a loving Father God who provides for all of our needs.

Because of my loving, supporting "village", which includes many states in the USA, I actually had to purchase very little for the Texan Princess. We are surely blessed. Thank you all!

Show Some Love to Aged Out Youth - One Case

Anyone who knows me at all knows I have a passion to adopt older children from foster care and to support youth who age out of foster care with no permanent family to call their own. Their adult lives are usually bleak and difficult with little to no support system. One youth who aged out in Colorado advertised for a family to celebrate her birthday with on craigslist.

The above family is near and dear to my heart. The mom is the sister of 3 of my adopted boys with her significant other and their two boys. She just had a baby girl today, as well. Baby Girl was born 6 weeks early. The parents aged out of foster care. They grew up without a permanent family to call their own. Momma has never had a baby shower. The family has many needs; however, it is my desire to show them some love at this time. I'd like to ask my friends and followers if you'd help me show them some love by sending them a card, flowers, or whatever your heart desires.

You can send cards, flowers, etc. to:
Baby Girl Martinez
The BirthPlace
Southwest General Hospital
7400 Barlite Blvd
San Antonio, TX 78224

You also can help by using my "donate" button or purchasing items from the baby registry at Target, or search it using my name and email address: Alison Graf alisongraf@aol.com
Prayers are always welcome, of course.
Thank you so much.