Thursday, October 17, 2013

A Heart for Orphans?

Imagine feeling like no one loves you, or even likes you, like no one wants you around. Imagine believing that you are so bad, bad to the core, evil even; so unlikeable, unlovable, and worthless that you deserve every bad thing that ever happens to you ... then having many, many bad things happen to you, daily maybe ... some things done by your own parents, people who are supposed to love you automatically. Or imagine being ignored. Treated as though you simply don't exist; you are THAT insignificant to even your own parents. Now magnify those feeling by 1,000,000,000,000,000. That's how these children feel. How my children have felt. That death was definitely better than anything this life has to offer. Imagine being a young adult with no family: no one to call, no one to visit on holidays, no one to give you away on your wedding day. Imagine always feeling like the outsider as you try to join in other families and their traditions, knowing there is a huge something missing in your own life.
After reading this story about a brave teen in foster care making a public request for a family, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I woke up a day later and it was still weighing heavily on my heart. I am aware of the statistics. There are many more churches than orphans. In fact, if just one family from each church adopts one orphan child, there wouldn't be enough children to go around. You can check the statistics for your state here.
This has always been a passion of mine. After having 3 birth children I adopted my first of 9 foster children in 2002: a 14-year-old girl. Adopting teens, specifically, became a passion after learning the statistics regarding what happens to children who age out of foster care without permanent families:
Outcomes
Earned a high school diploma         54%
Obtained a Bachelor’s degree or higher     2%
Became a parent                 84%
Were unemployed                 51%
Had no health insurance             30%
Had been homeless                 25%
Were receiving public assistance         30%
All of these statistics are staggering. I feel led by God to put this out there right now. If God has put this on your heart, act on it. Have faith that, if He put it on your heart to do, then you can do it with Him. He is faithful.
To be honest, adopting children from foster care who have sad histories has been hard. Very hard. It has pushed me beyond my wildest dreams. It has exposed all of my weaknesses, faults and flaws to my blind self. It has made me work harder than ever in my walk to be the person God intended me to be ... and I'm not finished yet. Yet, it has been extremely rewarding. It has made me a better person and the little lives I'm entrusted with are forever changed. Despite my faults and flaws, they are thriving. Some of them have far exceeded their "professional's" expectations. Most importantly, I believe they all know they are loved. They are worth something. They have a purpose here and an eternal future with their heavenly Father, the only father they (or I) have ever known.
If God lays it on your heart to help orphans and you feel adoption isn't your calling, consider finding a way to support orphans in other ways. Pray for them. Pray for those who care for them. Pray for families to come forward and commit to them. Provide a few hours of respite, a donated pre-made dinner, a gift card, a family game, pull some weeds, mow their lawn, or find some other tangible gift to families who foster or adopt. When we are dealing with mental, emotional, or behavioral issues resulting from an early life of abuse, neglect and trauma, we don't have time for mundane tasks like cooking dinner, mowing the lawn, or even taking a shower! Sometimes we feel so alone and your caring helps lift us up and keep us going. Thank you in advance for considering whatever God is putting on your heart. Thank you, God, for your love and faithfulness.