"How do you all fit in there?" (RV renovations for 9 ... now 10)

"How do you all FIT in there?"

"How many do you HAVE in there?"

"How many beds are IN that thing?"

"Can you even walk around in there?"

These are the questions we are greeted with after we pull into a campground or parking lot and start filing out of our 26-foot Class C motorhome.  That's about 240 square feet of living space (or about 215 square feet if you don't count the cab, since we don't actually live in the cab, I just drive in it).

When I bought this RV, it slept 6 and we were a family of 6, so it was perfect. The RV originally had a "living room/entertainment" area in back behind the kitchen and in front of the bathroom. I had added a bunkbed across the top which could be set up and taken down daily but that quickly got old and we just left it up all the time, but that meant ducking down to get to the bathroom and we hit our heads numerous times trying to stand up too soon before reaching the bathroom.

 

As I added to our family through adoption, I also had to add beds and storage space. So, I gutted the entire RV. We emptied all cabinets and cubbies and started pulling all the pink furniture out. We pulled up the pink carpet. Everything was pink! Notice how the kitchen counter curved into almost an L, blocking part of the hallway to the back. It left very little room for people to walk by if someone was cooking or washing dishes so I reconfigured it all. I was able to reuse almost everything I had taken out and only purchased new flooring (one long sheet of vinyl) and some 2x2s and 2x3s to build the new beds with. The vinyl flooring has come in handy so many times. We had a water leak, a big water spill, and several wet, muddy days but it was extremely easy to clean up.

Our original dinette could seat 4 regular people, or 6 littles, so I took it out and rebuilt the benches to be a little longer, adding maybe 6-7 inches. I haven't put in a longer table yet but that's coming soon. With the longer benches, we can fit 6 teens or adults or 7 people with littles and, instead of sleeping 1 person, the bed sleeps 2 very comfortably. I also added more seatbelts under the benches so everyone can buckle up. When we are parked at a campground, we just leave the dinette in bed mode. When boondocking, we must set it up and tear it down daily unless we find a picnic table at a park, or something similar, to eat at.

You see, below, I took out one of the kitchen cabinets, cut them, and pieced them back together so that they are straight along the wall and I cut out the L part. I had to make a new counter. After much research, I decided to cut out a sheet of plywood to the dimensions I needed, with sink and stove holes cut out, then I painted it on both sides with blue garage floor paint and finished it with many layers of polyurethane coating. It has held up for almost a whole year now pretty well. I intend to make the dinette table to match it: blue plywood. We have about 2 feet of hallway space straight back from the door to the bathroom. It does require patience in waiting your turn to pass, and sitting while others pass, but we've gotten used to that.

I built a permanent bunkbed above the dinette. There is a long cabinet of cubbies along the ceiling but I built the bed in front of those so the child up there uses those cubbies for his clothes. It is almost a standard single bed up there. I also added a cabinet under the bed above the center of the table for a VCR/DVD player for the TV I eventually want to put in near the window. We do have to duck down to scootch into the dinette benches but otherwise it's pretty workable. I also want to put in a white board for homeschooling. I miss my whiteboard.

I added small shelves between the dinette bench and my driver's seat. It fits many canned goods perfectly.

I replaced the (broken) gas/electric refrigerator with an apartment-sized electric one. It does run on the generator while boondocking but we just try not to store perishables. We generally boondock at Walmart so buying milk and yogurt and such isn't a problem. I also keep canned and boxed milk around for those occasions. I hung magazine rack pieces wherever I could find room for them and a violin bungied to the wall. I built a bookcase above the dinette bench behind my driver's seat, also. It gives the kiddos something to do at the table, besides homeschool work, while I drive. We have a game bag but I haven't figured out how to store the games so that they're within reach of the kiddos without unbuckling.

We gutted the entire rear and I built 2 sets of bunkbeds, one on either side of the hallway. The 2 bottom ones lift up. There is storage under the left one and the water holding tank is under the right one. I added 2 Lowes kitchen wall cabinets on both sides of the bottom bunks, installed under the top bunks. I used the metal magazine racks from Ikea and hung each section individually for storage of books at one end of the beds on the top bunk. I plan to add another one on each side under the ones already there. One just doesn't seem to be enough for their notebooks and reading books.

The Lowes cabinets on both sides of the bottom bunks consist of an 18x12x30 inch cabinet, which is short to allow ventilation for the cold air from the a/c to get to the rear. It also allows us to lay our head under it so we can use the entire bed to lay flat out since the cabinets did cut off some sitting room. No biggie, 2 people, instead of 3, can sit on each bed during the day. When we read the bible together at night, 2 sit on each bottom bunk, the 2 little boys go up in their top bunks, someone sits on a stool in the kitchen doorway, and someone sits on the toilet. lol. It makes a cozy reading circle.

The larger 24x12x30 cabinet on the rear side holds all of our clothes and we found a bunch of cans fit nicely on the little ledge on top of it! I added shelves inside plus a piece of wood along the bottom to keep things from falling out during the housequakes while I drive.

Under the right bed, and under the water holding tank, I installed some drawers. This boy can't have enough storage space for all of his STUFF! He did try to minimize but he's got a long way to go!

Under the left side, we have a shoe cubby, a shoe drawer, and an over-the-door shoe tree that I cut up and screwed on for yet more shoes. We each have a pair of sneakers and a pair of flip-flops or water shoes, although the hoarder still has a few pairs of sneakers he couldn't part with yet. That's 20 pairs of shoes!

The view below is from the bathroom looking forward. I have a curtain that separates the back bedroom from the kitchen for privacy when people get out of the shower to change. Plus, the top bunks slide in and out on a track between 2 2x2s. The first picture shows them pushed in while the second shows them pulled out. They pull out even with the doorway I added and with the beds below. When they are pushed in, it gives us about 6-7 inches of added space for shoulder room while walking down the hallway.

Here are the cabinets above and behind all 3 top bunks (these 2 rear bunks plus the one above the dinette).

  

We couldn't figure out where to put the 2 guitars so I just bungied them to the ceiling!

The picture below shows the front looking from the rear bedroom. I used an Ikea cabinet from the sticks and bricks house that didn't sell, cut it to fit, and installed it by the door behind the passenger seat in the cab. I keep my printer, paper, puzzles and various homeschooling supplies in there and my sons in the cab bedroom store their books in there.The ladder hangs straight down when not in use and, again, I used the metal magazine rack for books but I installed them separately on the cabinet so each had more storage space in it. On the other side of the door, I added Ikea spice racks on my microwave cabinet. They hold lots of little containers.

Above the cab is the queen or king size bed 2 of my boys share. I installed a wall cabinet up there, one on each side, for the boys' clothes plus a shelf that goes along the length of each side. I also used the very front shelf, enclosed it with a 2x8, to make a cubby of sorts across the entire front for the boys' guitars and ukuleles.

We have a tub/shower in our bathroom. I added the small wall between the tub and sink and much more storage space in the shower. (all storage stuff throughout the RV are from Ikea except the over-the-door shoe tree) I also have 2 shower bars going across the bathroom. One stays up always to hang wet things. The other is in the closet and can be put up when I want to hang laundry inside or when campgrounds make crazy rules like "no hanging wet laundry outside"! We can shut the shower curtain with the permanent one up, altho it can be removed, but we can't shut it with the second one up. We have Ikea towel hooks for towels: 6 on the closet doors and 2 on the bathroom door. I need to buy more of those.

That's our home and that's how we fit in it. It's basically a big bedroom on wheels, as we spend most of our time at libraries, exploring, or just outside.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7

"I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you." John 14:18

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. Ephesians 1:4-6

Have you Heard of Mesothelioma?

I was a teacher by profession and life-long learning has always been important to me. I now homeschool 8 of my 12 children; I hope to instill an attitude of life-long learning in them, as well. So, when I was asked to blog about mesothelioma, I agreed, not knowing what to expect, as I'd never heard the term before. I learned that mesothelioma, of which there are three types, is a rare, aggressive, deadly cancer of the thin lining of organs, such as the lungs and abdomen, caused by exposure to asbestos. It is difficult to diagnose, since the symptoms mimic other respiratory diseases and may not appear until 30-60 years after exposure to asbestos. It turns out that U.S. veterans have been affected greatly by mesothelioma. There is no cure.

Did you know cancer is an overgrowth of your own cells? Normally, our cells grow then reproduce to create more cells, then die. When we are growing children, our cells reproduce a lot. As adults, they mostly reproduce to replace dead or dying cells as they age. Sometimes, something causes our cells to change and to reproduce radically without dying. These cells can grow into large masses and even grow into other organs or break off and grow in other parts of the body. That's cancer.

Asbestos is a sharp, microscopic substance. It can wreak havoc in tissue.

When I bought my first house in 1998, my one and only next-door neighbor was a nice, kind older gentleman. Fit. Athletic. Took good care of himself. He had a grown daughter and a granddaughter that I knew of. Shortly after I moved in, he told me he had a doctor's appointment to have his lungs looked at. He later had a biopsy done, then got sick very quickly. He had been a veteran but he also had worked with plumbing and insulation his whole life. He told me he had lung damage from his exposure to asbestos insulation. He died shortly thereafter. I thought, "How sad to give your life for service and working for others only to die upon retirement. How sad that we didn't know the dangers of asbestos a long time ago (or did we?)."

I have worked with asbestos-filled insulation in my attic a few times. I did wear a mask, sometimes, but that stuff got stuck in my clothes and hair and settled on our furniture and it took days or weeks to get rid of it. It was sticky, itchy and irritating. It stayed lodged in my skin for days. Maybe there's still some lodged in my lung tissue, years later? I did think about my former neighbor and what it must've done to his lungs as he breathed it in. I wondered if his family suffered exposure to it since, clearly, it stays with you and on your clothes, hair and skin for quite some time. It must've followed him home.

I gladly share this information. If even one person is made aware, if anyone can be diagnosed early enough to prolong their life due to information gained here, it was well-worth sharing. Thank you, friend, for bringing it to my attention.

Racism and Discrimination are Alive and Well

It really saddens me to put this out there but I need to. I have seen so many examples of racism, discrimination and profiling recently that it blows my mind.
I am a typical, middle-aged white girl. Grew up in the city. Was called honkie and cracker by my neighbors. Some of my best friends in elementary school lived in the projects. My friends in the private high school I attended would not, or did not, come see me at my home. They, or their parents, feared driving into my neighborhood. My parents were racist. I despised that. I grew up believing people are ... people. I knew full well, tho, that I, even in our poverty, were better off than my darker neighbors just because I happened to be born with white skin.

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galations 3:28

I grew up with friends of all races. Eight of my twelve children are of Mexican descent. The first few times I sent my teens into a store to do a return for me, they were told they couldn't return the item. When I went in, I was able to return it, no questions asked. They had the receipt. I thought maybe they were just trying to take advantage of children ... despicable, also. However, my adult children can't return items either, even with id.. They've also been questioned while browsing thru a store to make a purchase. It has just happened way too often now. It has happened in many states.

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right. Acts 10:34-35

Driving from TX to NJ last week, I was leading a line of 4 or 5 cars with my NJ RV in MS. We all were equidistant. The cop in the median pulled out and squeezed himself into the line of cars to put his lights on behind the car behind me: my son's Mexican brother and his family. I thought to myself, "oh, no, that baby got out of her carseat or maybe he was swerving back and forth from fatigue." I had my eye on his car the entire 30 hours. I was on top of things. No, the baby was in her seat. No swerving noticed. Of course, I pulled over to wait for them. Officers soon arrived at my RV to "confirm his story." Twice I had to explain how I adopted nine kids from TX and the man behind me was a boy I should've also adopted who ran away from foster care then was found and now wants to join the family, with his family, yadda, yadda, yadda. I asked why he was pulled over. "He looked suspicious," he said. Really? Why, because he was the only brown one in the row of cars? He had told the brother the same, that he looked suspicious having TX plates following a NJ RV ... ???? The officer also tried speaking to him in Spanish, which none of my kids speak well at all.

Dark am I, yet lovely, daughters of Jerusalem,dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon. Song of Solomon 1:5

After I confirmed his story, all of a sudden I became a saint worthy of praise and he said "God bless you for what you do." He let us go.

And they sang a new song, saying:“You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased for God persons from every tribe and language and people and nation. Revelation 5:9

The next morning, as we were washing up and brushing our teeth, a man asked this same brother if he is Mexican and he was going to live 'here' now. I believe we were in TN by then. He made some other comment, too, which I have now forgotten.

After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. Revelation 7:9

Maybe awareness of Mexican people is heightened now due to border issues, but I doubt that's it. These are not the only incidents, just the few that happened within the past 2 weeks. As I said before, these incidents have been on-going. Subtle and not so subtle. I am saddened that my children will be shafted or discriminated against because they are darker. They are good boys but will walk away without asserting themselves or sticking up for their rights; and what if they do try to stand up for themselves? Will they be viewed as criminals and arrested? They won't always have this white lady to confirm their stories or to purchase or return their store items for them. =(

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40

My Passion for Teens Aging Out of Foster Care

Many of you know I adopt older children from foster care. I'm a single mother of 12, going on 13, currently raising my youngest 8. When I am reminded, as I often am, of the fate of those who age out of foster care, my heart is torn: so happy for the children who have a forever family to depend on yet so sad for those who don't. There are some children I tried to adopt but wasn't able to before they aged out of foster care. Some of those children, now young adults, I've never been able to find despite prison searches and driver's license searches. Well, at least they're not in jail, huh? I pray for those who've aged out that I wanted to reach but couldn't.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27

But Jesus called the children to Him and said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Luke 18:16

Do you know what happens to children who age out of foster care? Statistics show:

Without family or any other dependable adults to rely on for assistance, these young people are at high risk of homelessness, joblessness, illness, incarceration, welfare dependency, early childbearing, and sexual and physical victimization.

According to various studies across the country of young people who have aged out of foster care without a permanent family:

• 12-30 percent struggled with homelessness
• 40-63 percent did not complete high school
• 25-55 percent were unemployed; those employed had average earnings below the poverty level, and only 38 percent of those employed were still working after one year
• 30-62 percent had trouble accessing health care due to inadequate finances or lack of insurance
• 32-40 percent were forced to rely on some form of public assistance and 50 percent experienced extreme financial hardship
• 31-42 percent had been arrested
• 18-26 percent were incarcerated
• 40-60 percent of the young women were pregnant within 12-18 months of leaving foster care.

If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need. 1 Timothy 5:16

Do not neglect to do good and share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. Hebrews 13:16

Do you remember what it's like to be an older teenager? A young adult? We always need our parents, no matter how old we are and young adults often need financial assistance and guidance.

Know the state of your flocks and and put your heart into caring for your herds. Proverbs 27:23

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will repay him for his deed. Proverbs 19:17

There are also children who've aged out of foster care that I was unable to adopt but I do still keep contact with them. These young adults struggle with joblessness and homelessness. Some have children, others do not, but they often need help keeping their car and car insurance in order to obtain and maintain employment. Many times, in order to avoid homelessness, they end up living with the very families they were removed from, suffering the same abuses and dysfunction that existed when they were young and now exposing their children to that life, as well. Many of them never completed high school, although a few did, and require assistance in preparing for their GED. As you know, I also homeschool/roadschool my current 8 children at home and I try to help these young adults to get their GEDs.

Again, Jesus said, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me?' He answered, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Take care of my sheep.' John 21:16

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:10

I know God is capable of taking care of everyone and I believe we all must be His hands and feet. I rarely ask anyone for anything but, at present, I feel led to ask for help. Several of these young adults, who I know personally, are in need of my help and I just can't help them all myself. If you feel led to help in any way, these are some ways you could help:

• donate, or sell cheaply, a working RV for a young family in need of a place to live
• donate, or sell cheaply, a used TT membership you no longer need
• provide a job (they are in TX now but may be open to moving)
• provide a very affordable place to live (they are in TX now but may be open to moving)
• donate a working car
• use the donate button on my blog to help fund these needs
• pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people. Ephesians 6:18

Pray for families in our country and around the world who are struggling. Pray for communities to support their families in ways that help families stay together. Pray for children in foster care who are missing their natural families. Pray for children who've legally lost their natural families and are waiting for a forever family to adopt them. Pray for children in foster care, and in adopted families, who've lost their siblings in the process of being removed and/or adopted. Pray that teens who age out find the resources and assistance they need to make positive strides in their adult lives. Pray that someone, somewhere, will show these lost souls the love of Jesus. Pray that they all get to know God's love for them. All of my adopted children came to me as nonbelievers or had little faith that God is alive or real or that He is good or that He cares about them. Those who age out struggle with many emotions and with unbelief. If you can help me be the hands and feet to show these young people the love of Jesus, it would be a blessing to have you on my team. They can heal. Read our stories of healing. Thank you in advance for anything you feel led to do to help those in need.

Sell your possessions and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. Luke 12:33

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7

The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40

A Little About Who I Am

I grew up in a single-parent home with my brother. I grew up believing I was pretty worthless. Unlovable. Defective in some way. I always felt like the black sheep of the family. What did I base my beliefs on? In my perception, my mother hated me and, therefore, the world must also hate me. How did I know my mother hated me? She didn't pay much attention to me. She told me children should be seen but not heard and that I should only speak when I'm spoken to. OK, but I was rarely spoken to. When I wanted to play with her, she said she was 'too old to play.' When I played alone and brought my doll babies to see their grandma and kiss her good-night, she said, 'I don't kiss inanimate objects.' (She didn't kiss her living children, either, so I'm not sure why I thought she'd kiss my 'babies'.) There was little affection. She did allow me to hug her good-night but when I was about 10-12 years old I decided I wasn't going to bother with it since it was always one-sided anyway. When she had absolutely no reaction to the fact that I said "good night" without giving her a hug, that pretty much solidified in my mind her feelings toward me and about our relationship. She often was downright mean. Once, I couldn't find my shoes. I looked and looked for them. Turns out they were under the sofa where she was sitting, behind her feet. She put me over her knee and spanked my bare bottom for being too stupid to find my shoes. I thought it was pretty unfair of her to sit in front of them and expect me to see them. I avoided being close to her like the plague.

He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24
But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

There was very little communication in my family. When my mother had "The Talk" with me, she threw my dirty laundry into my room and said, "I think you need to start wearing a pad" and later, when I started dating someone at age 18 she barely turned from washing the dishes when she said, "I think you should go on the pill." =/ If it weren't for health class in school, I wouldn't have even known what a pad or pill was! I certainly wasn't thinking about having sex. I grew up in Catholic schools. I was warned about premarital sex and tried my best to live according to the Law but I felt that was my mother's way of giving me permission to have premarital sex. So, I did. Three children later, ... I could go on and on but, basically, my immature, self-centered brain deduced from all of these clues that I was worthless. But I want everyone to know that every negative thing you've believed about yourself comes from mental processing done by an immature, self-centered little human being and it's INCORRECT so you must change your thinking. Read about who God says you are.

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Romans 10:9-10
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17
But to all who have received Him, those who believe in His name, He has given the right to become God's children. John 1:12

My mother was not a Christian. We were baptized Methodist, although I had no idea why. I know we attended church service on Easter Sundays early on because we have pictures of me in my Easter bonnet. I don't even know where we attended but that stopped somewhere along the way. I later learned why my mother was so against Catholicism, and organized religion, and God. Apparently, she got herself hypnotized and discovered she was abandoned by her parents in a former life, was raised by Catholic nuns in a convent, and was abused there. =/

Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God. Leviticus 19:31
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

When I started elementary school, I learned about God. I took religion class but never participated in the sacraments since my mother refused to allow it. I had no idea, then, why I attended a Catholic school but wasn't allowed to become Catholic and participate in the sacraments. So, yet again, I felt like the oddball. An outcast. I did yearn to know more about God. I felt a longing to know Him. I sought Him out. I read the bible diligently. I didn't understand much of it at all and it seemed like a lot of history and genealogy. I hated history. I felt alone much of the time but I knew God was with me. I knew He was trying to communicate with me. I wasn't very good at human relationships, which I believe was due to my undiagnosed autistic-spectrum disorder, and this elusive one with God was almost impossible to figure out. If things aren't spelled out for me, I wasn't going to be able to figure it out on my own unless I've experienced it before. New situations = a clean slate, a blank mind, I come up with nothing. One thing I did know was God existed at some time in the past and sent Jesus here to save us and He will come again someday and I yearned to know of Him. Not know Him. Just know OF Him. I had no idea I could KNOW Him, like now, like every day. If only someone had told me just that plainly.

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. Deuteronomy 4:29
The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. Psalm 14:2

As a single mother of 3, I went to college. I loved being a mother but hated being poor. I struggled and worked hard. Learning had always come easy for me. It was the one thing I felt I had going for me when I saw nothing else worthwhile in me, nothing else to offer the world. One day, as I was studying cells in biology lab, it occurred to me just how intricate and organized cells are. In high school, I learned about organelle transport and wondered just how everything knew where to go. I later learned that there is an invisible, even under a light microscope, railway system in the cell's cytoplasm and some sort of communication that goes on among cell parts by which new parts know where to go, imports know where to go, exports know where to go, ... I remember thinking that there MUST be a God to organize all that we couldn't even see (the microscopic and the cosmic) and it was the spark that got me seeking Him again. I did attend church service while in college. I don't remember getting a lot out of it except learning the "history" of God. God was still something of the past and the future, not now. Life kept getting in the way and I continued to fall away from seeking knowledge of Him.

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork. Psalm 19:1
Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they existed and were created. Revelation 4:11

Fast-forward. I'm 50 years old, so there are a lot of stories I could tell about myself but the message I feel led to share lately is this: You are not worthless. You are not a waste of human flesh. You are not unwanted, undesirable, or unlovable. I refused to believe that about myself my whole life, although I struggled with it a lot, and is one reason I mentored at-risk students in the schools where I taught and why I adopt hard-to-place children from foster care. I didn't understand why I wasn't worthless when every sign in my life pointed to the fact that I was but I knew there was a God who wouldn't make worthless things, even if I believed He was a past and future entity. My hope is that others won't grow 50 years into their lives struggling with worthlessness and depression. There was a popular saying when I was younger that said:

I clung to this for a very long time, every time I started to feel worthless or unlovable, and it was the only belief that saved me from the depths of depression. I did fall. A lot. At one point, I stopped getting out of bed, barely taking care of the two babies I had at the time. (Ah, but I gained some understanding of my mother's plight.) People told me to, "Be happy. Just be happy. Choose to be happy." I thought to myself, "How can I be happy when everyone treats me so badly? Like I don't matter?"

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

I spent my life seeking my mother's approval and the approval of others. I built my self-worth on other's opinions of me. I've learned that that only leads to disappointment.

Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. Matthew 6:24
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 6:12
Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Now, I spend my time seeking to know God and His will for my life through Jesus Christ. Once I sought to know Him, I prayed and prayed that He'd help me FEEL loved, not just know that I am, but actually feel it in my heart so I could pass that love on to others because, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get there. I was sobbing and praying, begging Him to show me. He did. In a dream, the Holy Spirit came to me and asked me to open a closet. I did but closed the door quickly. The closet was filled with water and I feared I'd drown. He assured me I had nothing to fear so I opened the closet door again. The water started entering my body. I got scared again and feared I'd drown. I even sat up in my bed, or so I thought, but He led me back down and kept reassuring me. The closet was emptied of the water and I thought to myself, "See, even God can't help me. No one can fill my bottomless pit; the hole in my heart is too great." But, that closet filled back up with more water and, again, it filled my body. This time, it filled my heart to overflowing. I FELT it. I felt the love. I woke up with a heavy heart. It was actually kind of scary. I feared I'd have a heart attack! But I was happy. I went about my day, and many days that followed, in the best mood. I didn't have a care in  the world. My children thought I was nuts. i yelled about nothing. I got upset about nothing. It was pretty awesome. He loves me. He saved me. He healed me. He leads me daily. I never saw myself as a bible-thumping Jesus freak but I am so blessed to be that now and will be forever grateful.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2
I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me diligently find Me. Proverbs 8:17
Peace I leave you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.  John 16:33
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

People have said to me, "Remember God's promises." I'd think to myself, What promises?" Other than the rainbow and the promise to never flood the whole Earth again, I knew of no promises. I wish I had, which is why I feel it's so important to make sure my children know them. There are three things I feel are most important for my children to know: that they are loved immensely, that they are wonderfully made for a purpose, and to seek Jesus in all things, every day, intimately.

In His name the nations will put their hope. Matthew 12:21
The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

You also can read my son's testimony: Richard
"Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you." And he went away proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him. Luke 8:39
Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what He has done for my soul. Psalm 66:16

Back to "Who We Are"

Roadschooling at Arkansas Museum of Natural Resources

While we were visiting and worshiping with Duck Dynasty at their church in West Monroe, LA we found an awesome state park to stay at only 45 minutes north with free laundry facilities, free Wi-Fi, and full hook-ups. Since we were so close to Arkansas, we figured, why not add another state to our US map? We took a day trip to Arkansas State Museum of Natural Resources.

We enjoyed learning about Arkansas history, the 1920s, and how the discovery of various natural resources shaped our country's development. All of my children have an "easy peasy" notebook, which they use for their online studies, and a "travel" (composition-type) notebook, which has a hard cover so they can use it while we drive or walk. They must record facts that interest them at each place we visit as well as record any questions they have. The littles (beginner readers) are required to draw pictures and copy titles of whatever they drew. Since I have 8 children (currently), each "little" has a "big" partner to help with recording, spelling, or just to converse with about what they are viewing.

We learned about the work camp conditions at various camps. Sure made us realize how blessed we are to have so many conveniences!

We learned about petroleum and how different density separates layers of matter.

We learned how pressure in the Earth's crust produces some of the resources we drill for.

And where the starting materials come from for fossil fuels.

My children are very engaged in their learning most of the time. They do read a lot. They've learned to because their mama reads a lot and, if they don't read, they just end up standing around waiting for mama forever while she reads everything. To make better use of their time, they just read everything, too.

 

They enjoyed the jail cell in the mock village ... because you always have a few rebels.

We learned about a "goat woman" who lived in an RV after quitting the circus life. Looking at this early 1900s RV was interesting. Check out that rudimentary plumbing in the kitchen!

This "goat woman" played many instruments, all at once, even.

Interesting woman.

We enjoyed the hands-on displays.

And we spent much time in the tinker room building things.

We also did some learning at the state park we stayed at by following educational trails, adding drawings and notes in our notebooks about the ecology of the area, and visiting the nature center.

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20