Adoption While Traveling

This next adoption will be my 5th adoption in 10 years after having 3 birth children. I adopted a single girl in 2002, had a few foster placements that aged out, then I adopted 3 boys (and here) in 2007, a boy/girl set in 2009, a boy in 2010, and I just visited with another boy/girl set I've been matched with and who will join us this year. It seems each time I try to hit the road FT, I find myself starting another adoption. Coming from a very small family myself, I've always wanted a large one of my own. Some of my friends growing up had large families and I loved the dynamics of their large families. It was never easy, and it was almost always an uphill battle, but I love how my family has come together over the years. We're not perfect, by any means, but I think we're pretty darn awesome.
I get asked many questions about adoption by other FT Moms. To address a few basics: you do need a sticks and bricks house that meets the state requirements in the state you're living in and the children placed in your home usually must attend public school until their adoption is finalized. That usually means 1 year or more in a s&b house. It's getting a little more difficult to adopt as my family grows but there are still a few large-family friendly states willing to place children.
I also tend to adopt older, harder-to-place children from foster care. This means they tend to have trauma in their background resulting in behavioral and/or emotional difficulties and attachment issues or they have life-long disabilities, such as autism, developmental delays, etc. Some, no many, were exposed to drugs/alcohol in utero, resulting in some FAS/FAE stuff going on. Because of these issues and behaviors, I had put off RVing, for fear they'd destroy the RV. Putting a hole in a s&b house wall is easy to fix ... and I teach them all how to fix those types of things if they create them ... but I had no idea how punching an RV wall would affect the RV wall! They aren't made with 2x4s or drywall. So far, I haven't had to fix any but I have had many a slammed doors. The poor door looks well-worn but is getting slammed less and less as my angels find better coping/communication skills.
This year was our "jumping in" year. We hit the road FT, well, tried to, in Jan. until the RV sprung an exhaust leak 3 days before we were set to head out. We left anyway, taking the van & a tent instead and headed for Florida. We traveled that way for a month or more. It got stressful at times. Moody, cranky, tempers got the best of some of us at times so we headed back to NJ to get the RV. It wasn't ready so we started working on s&b renovations to get the house ready to sell but another pending adoption is putting that on hold. I worked on the house for 4-5 months while homeschooling/unschooling the 6 I had at home before heading back out on the road.
How do I homeschool/unschool my family? Well, as this is our first year of homeschooling, I let their interests guide me and I keep the state and national curriculum standards in the back of my mind, just in case. I wanted to start with ancient history and work my way forward but we found some interesting Civil War classes at a museum and started with that. Whatever they ask about, we study. I removed almost all TV watching and video game playing from our daily routine. Because of this, most of them have been honing their artistic skills or improving their musical abilities. I play trumpet, so I can read music. I taught those who were trying to learn new instruments how to read music and off they went learning how to find free music online, free instrumental lessons on youtube and how to write music and lyrics and even how to make money doing it.
Most of my children came to me unable to read and/or write. So, even when they were in public school, I was homeschooling them. I read with them each night. They read, I read, etc. They read, then explained what they read. Public school HW took hours each night because of their lacking skills so I homeschooled them in every subject, as needed, just so they could finish a simple worksheet. Because of what I believe is FAE-related, I have had to teach them language skills continuously. Decoding. Comprehending. Reading fluently. Comprehending. Writing. Comprehending. Speaking. Spelling. Comprehending. That is a life-long process. And they generally DO. NOT. LIKE. IT.
When I do construction around the house, they help. How did I learn it? I read Home Depot "How To" books and watched HDTV. I do ask that they read daily, without fail. Something. Anything. Just read. Now that I have many kids, I can't read with each of them individually anymore but we do read as a family each night. We take turns each reading a page each. I ask them to tell me about things they read or see, I have them write summaries and ask questions. Many questions. Do I have all the answers? Hardly. They look them up. THE. BEST. THING. about homeschooling has been that my children have learned how to learn. They know how to teach themselves about a variety of things. I even make them write a 1-pragraph summary of the lesson at church every Sunday and a 1-paragraph explanation of how that lesson applies to their individual life. As we finish with the construction, we're getting back to more book work. We do have history, math and science textbooks I found at thrift stores, through freecycle, or downloaded free on the Kindles. I do lean toward the Charlotte Mason style of homeschooling but I don't stick to any rigid schedule or curriculum.
NJ has very easy homeschool laws. And homeschoolers can go to college. They don't need a GED but they can get one. They can attend a community college even while in high school then transfer to a university or they can take SATs and apply directly to a university. Colleges accept homeschoolers. The only complaint I've heard from colleges so far is that homeschoolers don't know how to take notes so I do provide opportunities for my children to take notes: at church, lectures, museum seminars, at home while I'm explaining something, ...
We socialize at homeschool group activities. We bowl, attend classes with others, join local homeschool groups, and keep up with online groups. We are very active at our home church but we attend church and youth groups wherever we travel. My children are not lacking in socialization opportunities or social skills, even though some have disabilities known for poor social skills. We are complimented on their excellent behaviors and manners wherever we go. Those problematic behaviors generally only rear their ugly heads in the confines of 'home' and are directed toward 'mom' only. That is the nature of the attachment disordered beast but we do work on those behaviors so they don't carry dysfunction to their future families. Coming from some family dysfunction myself, and having an undiagnosed disability of my own, I know how important it is to help these young people learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of their first families. I truly feel my calling is working with these young people entrusted to me.
We've been on the road a month this time out. We even had the 2 new kids for the weekend = 8 kids and a mom in a 26' Class C RV. LOL. Definitely can't wait to finish the renovations inside the RV to accommodate everyone and I can't wait to go to Ikea to search for storage solutions that will work well. I REALLY can't wait to rip out the PINK rug in here and put in a durable, hand washable flooring! Since I must send the new kiddos to public school (ugh) I will work on these renovations during that time so it will be ready to travel by the next FTF Rally!
As I sit here tonight writing from the "Walmart Wilderness" while my children, ages 10-16, all sleep around me, feeling blessed beyond explanation, I'm finally catching up on weeks of no Internet and sketchy cell phone service, designing in my mind's the best storage solutions to add 2 more kiddos and their belongings into this 200 sq ft space I love to call 'home'.