Halfway to Adulthood!

As #myprecious turns 9, I feel so very blessed to have the privilege of being her mom and I feel led to share her adoption story.

"Halfway to adulthood." While I was teaching her to read this year in homeschool, I said to her one day, "Learning to read well is very important. You're almost halfway to adulthood. We don't have much time left." At that moment it hit me. She's halfway to adulthood! I DON'T have much time left ... with her! Raising a child is such a long process, but gone in the blink of an eye.

Before we knew about her, I was fighting CPS to get custody of her older brothers. I was told by CPS to support the birth parents in getting their boys back, so I did what I could from 17,000 miles away to help them. The birth parents finally lost their parental rights and CPS chose an aunt-by-marriage who was divorced from the uncle for them to live with because she lived in their county. I was devastated, but God said "no." I don't take "no" very well. I cried out to God and asked why I can't have those boys. God very clearly said to me, "Those boys are easy and she can handle them. I have other children for you." I cried and asked why I can't have easy kids, too! That door closed and I tried to move on. Then, I learned the birthmom was pregnant. They were told this baby was not part of the case and they could keep her, so I went there when she was born to be a support person for them. However, reason to remove her from the family was found and CPS started a case, but the birth parents signed her over to me immediately, avoiding removal by CPS.

I was visiting her in the hospital after she was born every 2-3 days. One day, as I held her, I asked God if she was going to be with me or if I was going to lose her, too. She looked up and smiled at me and I knew the answer. Her birthmom said that was the first time she had her eyes open since she was born. The Friday the birth parents signed her over to me, I went to visit her again but was not allowed to go in to visit. The hospital said CPS had a case on her and the new foster parents were visiting her that weekend, so no one else was allowed in! I was upset and fearful, doubting my chances of being her mom. We were all staying in the RV in the nearest Walmart Wilderness for the 2 weeks she was in NICU to be close to the hospital, hot and tired. Angrily, I gave God an ultimatum! I said I was so tired of living without modern conveniences and if I don't get a decision about the baby by Monday I was going home. I heard nothing from God, but Monday morning the lawyer called me and told me to hurry up and go to the hospital to pick up the baby before CPS changes their mind. I rushed on over with all my kids at the time and got that little 4-pound premie. She has been such an easy child to raise: sweet, joyful, kind, and has a heart for God and His people.

I don't recommend putting God to the test like that, but I think He understands I was stressed out and tired! LOL. His grace and mercy are abundant. Read more about His Goodness here.

Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

For the Lord is good;

His mercy is everlasting.

Psalm 100:4-5

Around the time I adopted her, a stranger approached my family in a Walmart when she heard my son playing worship music on his guitar after we moved to Florida. Yes, he was playing guitar walking around Walmart! The woman introduced herself and invited us to her church. We chatted a bit. Then, when we parted ways, she hugged me and said, "God has more children for you, you know." So far, I've only adopted one more. Still to this day I wonder who these "children" are and where they're coming from. I didn't actively seek out either of my two youngest.

Two Little Blessings

I birthed 3 children then adopted 10 older children from foster care. It was a bumpy ride but all of them made it to adulthood, lol, and are forging their own way in life. Four adults still live with me, and may always. You can see some ways I manage here.

Even in the world of adoption, there are surprises. I've never been able to adopt a baby from foster care because I was never a foster parent (I had too many children in the home) and I've never been chosen for any young children I've ever inquired about adopting. However, God blessed me with a newborn premature infant with NAS, a relative of some of the children I had adopted. #myprecious

Two years later I was blessed again with another newborn infant.

I can never explain how much these two have changed my life. I am truly blessed to be chosen to parent these two. They bring so much joy to my life.

I always considered myself a Christian, but did not really have a relationship with God. Raising children as a changed person is so much sweeter. I made many mistakes parenting my first children, and still make mistakes, but I appreciate the chance to do it all again, even though I'll be in my 70s when they turn 18!

 They love each other so much! ♡

How God Provides ... in Advance

I'm a little behind with my blog posts ... by about 3 years! At any rate, when I adopted my Texan Princess, she was born at 32 weeks and was diagnosed with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS). Each time I visited the hospital NICU, the nurses would explain that she wasn't feeling very well and that her withdrawal symptoms were bad. Every time I saw her, she was asleep. Sometimes she had hiccups. Apparently that's a withdrawal symptom. She had many of the symptoms listed in the link above.

Because I had absolutely no experience with this, I went to good old Google. I learned that babies born exposed to drugs are often born early and, because they're born early, they do not suffer through their symptoms so much. They sleep through them! So, she had symptoms for 4 months, gradually reduced over time, but she slept through the first 2 months of them.

It is so cool to me that God provided a way to protect innocent children from the most severe consequences of their parents' poor choices.  I realize not all children are born early and do not sleep through their severe symptoms. This is how it worked out for us and I feel so incredibly blessed by it, and so is she. Although she was a little behind in most of her developmental milestones, she is on target and doing well. I know God has a plan for her life and I can't wait to see how He uses her.

I have no words to explain the blessing that she is to me. I was well beyond child-bearing years. I felt I did a horrible job raising my first babies as an unsaved mother. She is my "second chance", my "round two" in parenting as a saved mother. What a difference! I am forever grateful.

If you want to see how God has worked in her siblings' lives, check out the links in Who We Are.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart..." Jeremiah 29:11-13
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

Looking for Partners in Caring for the Orphans

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Psalm 82:3

I'm an adoptive mom. That is my calling. My ministry. I've adopted many older children from foster care. Many have traumatic backgrounds or disabilities of various kinds. There are other children I tried to adopt but, for one reason or another, it didn't go through. I was matched with siblings then a relative stepped up to adopt them. I was matched with other siblings and the foster parents ultimately decided to adopt them. Some children I sought out but was never able to connect with their workers before they aged out. There is this one boy ...

Once upon a time, a biological sibling to one of my children was placed with us, but the adoption was never consummated. He returned to a residential treatment facility, as his needs were too great for me at the time. He has grown up in facilities. Not families. Facilities. It breaks my heart.

At any rate, we love him. We've kept in touch. I recently had the opportunity to meet with him. He is doing well. He has grown and matured so much!

Also, his wisdom teeth have grown in and crowded out his already crooked teeth. Mind you, I requested he get assessed for braces 5 or more years ago. I was told it would be done. Medicaid would not pay for his braces, as he didn't meet the criteria. Over time, his teeth have gotten worse and now he is too old for Medicaid to pay for braces anyway. He has one tooth sticking out his right cheek. He has one tooth that sticks up under his tongue! He has other crooked teeth and I don't think his bottom teeth match up to his top teeth in order for him to chew properly. I noticed he's very thin and he eats only small amounts of food at a time. This situation breaks my heart. So, of course I offered to pay for braces for him.

I'm looking for partners in this, if God is willing. Prayer partners can pray for his continued healing, as God has worked in this boy's life, that the money will come my way, and that my family can get through this 2-year commitment. I'm not wealthy by any means. I don't even have the Dave-Ramsey-suggested emergency fund built back up yet. But I do know that God provides. He provides for our every need. I'm humbled by His Goodness and Generosity. He is "a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." (Psalm 68:5) He also sees the trouble of the afflicted; and considers their grief and takes it in hand. The victims commit themselves to him; he is the helper of the fatherless. (Psalm 10:14)

The down payment is $800 with a $200-per-month commitment for 2 years. If you feel called to become a financial partner in this in any way, any and all help would be greatly appreciated. I have a donate button on my blog. I also have Paypal. If you'd like to deal directly with the orthodontist, I can get you that information, as well. If you'd like to send him an encouraging note, I can surely pass that along, too.

I thank you for your prayers, gifts, and encouragement. May your blessings abound.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

I love this quote:

Two Who Climbed to the Top, and Made It

I haven't posted in awhile, and there's much in our lives I haven't blogged about, but this ... this is exciting.
For all you parents who are wondering what will happen to your children with special needs when they're grown, for those struggling with FASD/FAE, ASD or developmental delays, Behavioral/emotional issues, or any other roadblock to what society considers a normal adulthood. There is hope for their future. These 2 teenagers have just been accepted into the Culinary Arts program at Job Corps.

I couldn't be more proud and excited for them. When I adopted them at ages 7 and 14, they couldn't read or write at all. They didn't understand much of the language people used in every day speech. They had a very hard time controlling their emotions and behavioral responses to anger. They had suffered the loss of their biological families and, for one, the loss of several foster and potential adoptive homes.
When I first met them, I was told they'd never learn like other children, that they'd always need to live with me and be cared for by me. I was told they'd be a burden on my family, especially when I die, and possibly a burden on society forever. I was told by Job Corps that they cannot accept children with special needs like theirs. I never bought into any of that thinking for any of my children. Did I worry about their future? Definitely. Some days I wanted to give up on them like others had. Some days were hard, but I'm quite sure every day has been hard for them. Despite their tumultuous lives, they've embraced Jesus and earnestly seek Him and have overcome so much. They've made it!
I am not a perfect parent, not by a long shot. I'm no expert of any kind but I do know to point people to the cross. I provided opportunities and support. That's it. We are a Homeschooling family. Despite my flaws, I am honored that God chose to use me in their lives. This milestone reassures me that God has a place and a purpose for all of us. What a great God we serve.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

National Adoption Month

It's National Adoption Month!

Nationwide, 30,000 adolescents age out of the foster care system yearly. According to the Child Welfare League of America, 25% are homeless, 56% are unemployed, 27% of males end up in jail and 30% of females have children of their own shortly after aging out.

This map shows the number of children available for adoption and the number of churches in each state. if just one family from each church adopts one child, there wouldn't be enough children. These statistics blow my mind.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

You don't have to foster or adopt to help children in care. There are many ways you can help. You can help families who do foster or adopt by being a shoulder to lean on, a child''s mentor or respite worker, or you can help in tangible ways like mowing their lawn or preparing a meal when they're going through a hard time with one or more of their children. You can visit websites to find other ideas, like here.

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.
Psalm 82:3

Angels in Adoption trip to Washington, DC

We met Congressman Donald Norcross at a community event last November. He nominated me as an Angel in Adoption and I was chosen for the honor for NJ. People or organizations are chosen from each state.
It was wonderful to meet other people in the foster care/adoption arena and talking with others who have a heart for foster children and orphans and a passion to give them a permanent, stable family. It was also wonderful to meet the interns working for CCAI, the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute. They were all in "the system" at one time, many had aged out of foster care. When the children were asked to share what they loved most about the Angels events, my son Daniel brought tears to people's eyes when he said his favorite part was meeting the interns and seeing that they are successful and doing positive things in the world and not just another negative statistic.
On day 1, we checked in and met people from different agencies to learn what they do to help children. Then, we were given a walking tour of the Capitol Building and a bus tour of the city. The day ended with a dessert social.

On day 2, we attended the Congressional lunch and chatted with Congressman Norcross. I received my Angels pin. Then, we visited Arlington Cemetery where we watched the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and saw the eternal flame at JFK's grave site.

I could not attend day 3 activities as I had court to begin my littlest one's adoption. I did attend the gala that evening with my oldest son.

It was a blessing and an honor to be chosen as an Angel in Adoption and meet so many wonderful people.