Some of my children came to me with developmental delays, some classified with intellectual disabilities/mental retardation, some with attachment issues and behavior disorders, some struggle with autistic-spectrum disorders (3 diagnosed, 1 not diagnosed) and some with PTSD. Of course, I've never met a foster child yet that hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD. However, I believe the thing that most negatively impacts their growth and development, their daily life, and their academic progress, which has no cure or 'quick fix', is the effect of alcohol exposure when they were in the womb. They often don't understand the meanings of simple, every day words enough to understand instructions. Everyone talks too fast for them to follow. they can't communicate their thoughts properly, as well. They've had much to overcome, which is one reason why I started homeschooling.
My children were all behind in school. Most were placed in self-contained special education classrooms or inclusion classrooms with IEPs. Some had 504 plans in regular classrooms with modifications. Some were still in danger of failing every year and had to attend summer school at times. They rarely passed a standardized test and, because of that, they had to give up an elective class in order to attend a second reading/writing and/or math class-a class designed to help students learn skills in order to pass these standardized tests. They had to attend before and after school tutoring. All this was on top of the homeschooling I had to do each night with them. it became crazy. At a time when our family was already in crisis due to emotions and behaviors, our lives revolved around learning academic things to pass tests and therapist/psychiatrist visits.
The madness ended when I started pulling my children out of public school by simply filling out a withdrawal slip, 1-2 at a time, to homeschool them and we spent our days fervently seeking God's wisdom on all matters. The first thing I did with them was ... nothing. We deschooled. We talked. We played. We took day trips. We watched TV. They played football and basketball. We did all the things we weren't able to do while they were in public school. We discussed what kinds of things we'd like to learn. Other than learning how to learn, learning to read and write was my top priority. It still is. I avoided math like the plague since it was a source of confusion, frustration, and shame. I did spend some time, as I had started to do while they were still in public school, teaching my then 9-year-old daughter (DD, ADHD, mild MR, autism) how to read, since the public school hadn't been able to do so. She was reading age appropriate chapter books within 3 months.
After a few weeks of deschooling, I unschooled. Some would call it radical unschooling. It came out of necessity but served us well at the time. At the time, we had had a pipe burst in our upstairs bathroom which flooded and damaged the bathroom and kitchen below it. Home owners didn't give me enough money to hire someone to fix all that damage so I did it myself. Being busy, all I asked my children to do every day was read, learn something, and tell me what they learned. That's it. I had no other requirements. Later, when we went out to aquariums, museums programs, homeschool classes, and even church sermons, they still had to tell me what they learned but they also had to write a summary of it and/or take notes. This was based on a survey of colleges who stated their biggest issue with accepting homeschoolers was that they didn't know how to take notes. Then, to synthesize what they learned as they got older, they had to not only write a 1-paragraph summary but also write a 1-paragraph description of how what they learned applies to their lives and, if it was a science related topic, they had to write 5 questions they now have about the topic. Often, they would google their own answers. In this way, they learned how to question what they see and hear, ask good questions, and google answers.
I took only a few children out of public school at a time. The oldest ones didn't trust that mom could actually educate them well, even though I was a public school teacher for 10 years, but once they saw my littles were learning how to read ... and that we learned science at aquariums and museums and watching TV programs ... they were begging me to homeschool them, too. Yes, our public schools called CPS on us several times, who did come out to check that I was actually educating my children. Remember, too, we were a family in crisis quite often due to behaviors.
I unschooled for 1 year. Just for fun ... well, actually, because of some pretty serious behavioral issues one of my oldest was displaying, I felt the need to prepare them to go away to college. So, I took them to our state workforce office to take a practice GED test. They did quite well, despite being behind all their lives and unschooling for 1 year. I had hope for their futures for the first time. Ever. Eventually, I finished the home renovations and I started teaching some things my children still struggle with. I loved unschooling, and they loved it, but I honestly feel it's not enough for my special needs kids. They need direct instruction in many things to improve their weaknesses because, due to their disabilities, things don't often come to them naturally like they may to others, so I started homeschooling in a way that looked more like public school in some ways.
Once my oldest 3 were ready for college ... OK, they weren't all ready but the opportunity to be stationary and attend college presented itself, I made sure we covered topics expected for high school graduation in our home state of NJ, I wrote up transcripts, they took the college placement test, and enrolled in community college. Since I had stopped grading their work, making the transcripts did take me quite some time, thinking back on 2-3 years' worth of schooling; however, I try to keep on top of that each year with my younger children now. They could have taken a few dual credit courses first, at a reduced rate, but we were eligible for financial aid, which doesn't cover dual credit courses, so we opted to graduate them from high school early and attend college full time. If we didn't get so much financial aid, we would've opted for the dual credit while continuing with high school. They each had more than enough credits to graduate, they just didn't want to rush adulthood.
homemade high school diplomas =]
blank transcript I used from the HSLDA website
my son's NJ transcript, without identifying information
So, the boys who couldn't read or write when I met them, at all for some of them, who were detained a year in public school, who barely passed each year, have finished high school early and are now in college. Some of them did have to take one basic skills refresher course in reading and writing and they all had to take the pre-algebra refresher course but, so what? They're in. they're there, improving their skills and learning new things. They're taking college general education courses and courses in their chosen fields of interest. I couldn't be happier. My littles still work on reading and writing with Starfall and K12 Reader, and math facts with xtramath.org, and they use Easy Peasy Free Online Homeschool but we also unschool so they can continue to learn how to learn and follow their passions. I believe we should all work in our fields of interest, no matter what the pay scale looks like. If you work in a field you love, happiness will follow. Happiness rarely follows the money.
He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income, this also is vanity. Ecclesiastes 5:10
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. 1 Timothy 6:10
If you're doubting yourself. If you fear you can't do it. If you think you will ruin your kids' lives by your inadequate homeschooling methods, like I did: stop. You won't. Children have natural interests, abilities, and curiosities ... even lazy ones (trust me, I know). Encourage their interests, teach them how to seek knowledge and ask questions, learn along with them. Learning should be a part of life and life should be enjoyed.
An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. Proverbs 18:15
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