This next adoption will be my 5th adoption in 10 years after having 3 birth children. I adopted a single girl in 2002, had a few foster placements that aged out, then I adopted 3 boys (and here) in 2007, a boy/girl set in 2009, a boy in 2010, and I just visited with another boy/girl set I've been matched with and who will join us this year. It seems each time I try to hit the road FT, I find myself starting another adoption. Coming from a very small family myself, I've always wanted a large one of my own. Some of my friends growing up had large families and I loved the dynamics of their large families. It was never easy, and it was almost always an uphill battle, but I love how my family has come together over the years. We're not perfect, by any means, but I think we're pretty darn awesome.
I get asked many questions about adoption by other FT Moms. To address a few basics: you do need a sticks and bricks house that meets the state requirements in the state you're living in and the children placed in your home usually must attend public school until their adoption is finalized. That usually means 1 year or more in a s&b house. It's getting a little more difficult to adopt as my family grows but there are still a few large-family friendly states willing to place children.
I also tend to adopt older, harder-to-place children from foster care. This means they tend to have trauma in their background resulting in behavioral and/or emotional difficulties and attachment issues or they have life-long disabilities, such as autism, developmental delays, etc. Some, no many, were exposed to drugs/alcohol in utero, resulting in some FAS/FAE stuff going on. Because of these issues and behaviors, I had put off RVing, for fear they'd destroy the RV. Putting a hole in a s&b house wall is easy to fix ... and I teach them all how to fix those types of things if they create them ... but I had no idea how punching an RV wall would affect the RV wall! They aren't made with 2x4s or drywall. So far, I haven't had to fix any but I have had many a slammed doors. The poor door looks well-worn but is getting slammed less and less as my angels find better coping/communication skills.
This year was our "jumping in" year. We hit the road FT, well, tried to, in Jan. until the RV sprung an exhaust leak 3 days before we were set to head out. We left anyway, taking the van & a tent instead and headed for Florida. We traveled that way for a month or more. It got stressful at times. Moody, cranky, tempers got the best of some of us at times so we headed back to NJ to get the RV. It wasn't ready so we started working on s&b renovations to get the house ready to sell but another pending adoption is putting that on hold. I worked on the house for 4-5 months while homeschooling/unschooling the 6 I had at home before heading back out on the road.
How do I homeschool/unschool my family? Well, as this is our first year of homeschooling, I let their interests guide me and I keep the state and national curriculum standards in the back of my mind, just in case. I wanted to start with ancient history and work my way forward but we found some interesting Civil War classes at a museum and started with that. Whatever they ask about, we study. I removed almost all TV watching and video game playing from our daily routine. Because of this, most of them have been honing their artistic skills or improving their musical abilities. I play trumpet, so I can read music. I taught those who were trying to learn new instruments how to read music and off they went learning how to find free music online, free instrumental lessons on youtube and how to write music and lyrics and even how to make money doing it.
Most of my children came to me unable to read and/or write. So, even when they were in public school, I was homeschooling them. I read with them each night. They read, I read, etc. They read, then explained what they read. Public school HW took hours each night because of their lacking skills so I homeschooled them in every subject, as needed, just so they could finish a simple worksheet. Because of what I believe is FAE-related, I have had to teach them language skills continuously. Decoding. Comprehending. Reading fluently. Comprehending. Writing. Comprehending. Speaking. Spelling. Comprehending. That is a life-long process. And they generally DO. NOT. LIKE. IT.
When I do construction around the house, they help. How did I learn it? I read Home Depot "How To" books and watched HDTV. I do ask that they read daily, without fail. Something. Anything. Just read. Now that I have many kids, I can't read with each of them individually anymore but we do read as a family each night. We take turns each reading a page each. I ask them to tell me about things they read or see, I have them write summaries and ask questions. Many questions. Do I have all the answers? Hardly. They look them up. THE. BEST. THING. about homeschooling has been that my children have learned how to learn. They know how to teach themselves about a variety of things. I even make them write a 1-pragraph summary of the lesson at church every Sunday and a 1-paragraph explanation of how that lesson applies to their individual life. As we finish with the construction, we're getting back to more book work. We do have history, math and science textbooks I found at thrift stores, through freecycle, or downloaded free on the Kindles. I do lean toward the Charlotte Mason style of homeschooling but I don't stick to any rigid schedule or curriculum.
NJ has very easy homeschool laws. And homeschoolers can go to college. They don't need a GED but they can get one. They can attend a community college even while in high school then transfer to a university or they can take SATs and apply directly to a university. Colleges accept homeschoolers. The only complaint I've heard from colleges so far is that homeschoolers don't know how to take notes so I do provide opportunities for my children to take notes: at church, lectures, museum seminars, at home while I'm explaining something, ...
We socialize at homeschool group activities. We bowl, attend classes with others, join local homeschool groups, and keep up with online groups. We are very active at our home church but we attend church and youth groups wherever we travel. My children are not lacking in socialization opportunities or social skills, even though some have disabilities known for poor social skills. We are complimented on their excellent behaviors and manners wherever we go. Those problematic behaviors generally only rear their ugly heads in the confines of 'home' and are directed toward 'mom' only. That is the nature of the attachment disordered beast but we do work on those behaviors so they don't carry dysfunction to their future families. Coming from some family dysfunction myself, and having an undiagnosed disability of my own, I know how important it is to help these young people learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of their first families. I truly feel my calling is working with these young people entrusted to me.
We've been on the road a month this time out. We even had the 2 new kids for the weekend = 8 kids and a mom in a 26' Class C RV. LOL. Definitely can't wait to finish the renovations inside the RV to accommodate everyone and I can't wait to go to Ikea to search for storage solutions that will work well. I REALLY can't wait to rip out the PINK rug in here and put in a durable, hand washable flooring! Since I must send the new kiddos to public school (ugh) I will work on these renovations during that time so it will be ready to travel by the next FTF Rally!
As I sit here tonight writing from the "Walmart Wilderness" while my children, ages 10-16, all sleep around me, feeling blessed beyond explanation, I'm finally catching up on weeks of no Internet and sketchy cell phone service, designing in my mind's the best storage solutions to add 2 more kiddos and their belongings into this 200 sq ft space I love to call 'home'.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
The Scoop on Baltimore, MD
We have visited Baltimore, MD several times. Never before did I know about free transportation! If you park at Fort McHenry, you park for free. Even RVs. Just outside the gates, you can catch a free bus that travels around town. We didn't learn this, of course, until AFTER we visited there several times but I wanted to share the knowledge.
We went up in the "Top of the World" World Trade Center. Awesome views. We visited the Edgar Allen Poe House (there is free parking there, too, but you must walk a ways to the bus stop) and the Poe Family Grave site. Contrary to the Poe House (only open certain days of the week for limited hours, call ahead) director's advice, you CAN walk to the grave from the house and you can ctch the bus near the grave. We have visited the Inner Harbor where we splashed in the fountains on a hot day, toured the ship, aquarium, and several museums. We toured Federal Hill and Fort McHenry and, of course, completed the junior ranger book.
Six Flags isn't too far so we splashed at the water park then went on some rollercoasters in the evening. Washington, DC isn't all that far either.
We usually stay overnight at the Walmart near Greenbelt Park, since quiet hours at the park prohibit the use of my noisy generator but there is a huge park, skatepark and shopping area close to Greenbelt and we do go in Greenbelt for $16 to shower, dump, and fill with water, as needed. There are no hook-ups there.
We went up in the "Top of the World" World Trade Center. Awesome views. We visited the Edgar Allen Poe House (there is free parking there, too, but you must walk a ways to the bus stop) and the Poe Family Grave site. Contrary to the Poe House (only open certain days of the week for limited hours, call ahead) director's advice, you CAN walk to the grave from the house and you can ctch the bus near the grave. We have visited the Inner Harbor where we splashed in the fountains on a hot day, toured the ship, aquarium, and several museums. We toured Federal Hill and Fort McHenry and, of course, completed the junior ranger book.
Six Flags isn't too far so we splashed at the water park then went on some rollercoasters in the evening. Washington, DC isn't all that far either.
We usually stay overnight at the Walmart near Greenbelt Park, since quiet hours at the park prohibit the use of my noisy generator but there is a huge park, skatepark and shopping area close to Greenbelt and we do go in Greenbelt for $16 to shower, dump, and fill with water, as needed. There are no hook-ups there.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Second FTF Rally
OK, so every time I try to head out on the road, something happens to delay it. Our first planned long-term road trip ended much sooner than planned. First, the RV sprung an exhaust leak 2 days before we were due to leave, causing us to live in the van and a tent for what turned out to be a month, as that was all the kids could stand before turning into something from a zombie movie. Our "around the country" road trip turned into a "to the Keys and back" trip, but what we did see and experience was pretty great. Second, we had some regression of behaviors in several children ... luckily not all at the same time. Third, I allowed myself to feel alienated from the people I had planned to meet on the road due to children's said behaviors. And last, there were 2 issues with the sticks and bricks house we left behind: the water heater broke and flooded the basement then a pipe in the upstairs bathroom caused a rain shower in the kitchen. My adult son took care of the water heater and I took care of the rest when I got back ... by totally gutting the upstairs bathroom, kitchen, laundry room, and half bath downstairs. Four months worth of construction later and it's almost finished! Ahhhhh.
In the meantime, I dared to attend another RV rally. I even purchased a Thousand Trails membership, in anticipation of the traveling we plan to do. I'm happy to say, we had a blast. No RV problems. No behavior problems, except for a few "argument seeking" words at bedtime. No house problems. I was able to enjoy myself, have fun with my children, and meet new people. Some awesome people. Of course, I had prepped the kiddos for months in order to avoid the same problems we had at the last rally. We were even ON TIME! Unusual for us. We barely made it to the kick-off because the RV park maintenance guy was quite the talker. I guess he could see I was a newbie. He had many tips for us. We enjoyed participating in all the family activities with other families and spent much time enjoying the pool and water park. We now are VERY motivated to get back on the road as quickly as possible.
My greatest moment: When my little raddish snuggled with me one morning (after the "argument seeking" words he threw at me the night before), apologized, then looked at me and said, "Moms are like God; when you do the wrong thing, then apologize, you're always forgiven." I am so blessed and thankful for much progress in these healing hearts.
My greatest moment: When my little raddish snuggled with me one morning (after the "argument seeking" words he threw at me the night before), apologized, then looked at me and said, "Moms are like God; when you do the wrong thing, then apologize, you're always forgiven." I am so blessed and thankful for much progress in these healing hearts.
Friday, February 24, 2012
One More Step Toward My Life Dream
I did it. I took the plunge. I pulled all 6 kiddos out of public school (2 last spring, 1 this fall, and 3 this winter) and started homeschooling them all. I've always dreamed of homeschooling my children and traveling around the USA. As a single working mother, it was never possible to stay home and homeschool before. I admit, I was very nervous pulling the high schoolers out, knowing they can't go back unless we 'prescribe' to the 9th grade curriculum and show proof of same. I do not homeschool using any particular curriculum that mimics what their peers are doing in the public school and I refuse to pay for a tracking program. For the most part, I homeschool and unschool, if you want to separate the two. It seems many people think of homeschooling as public schooling at home. OK. I do teach reading, writing, math, history, geography, and science at home that way. I do use textbooks, worksheets, and websites at times. I teach mostly reading, writing and math this way, actually. I did not purchase any particular curriculum. I was blessed enough to find a variety of middle and high school level textbooks on freecycle and in thrift stores. (I absolutely love Camden County Freecycle, by the way.) I started with the basics at each of their functioning levels and moved on from there. Most of my children have learning difficulties, so they do not work at the prescribed grade level for their age. Since I adopted all of my current children, all of them came with some sort of learning barrier; however, some of them are no longer behind their peers, as I was homeschooling them nights, weekends, and even throughout the summer when they were in public school to compensate for their past deficiencies. For most subjects, though, there is no textbook. I am guided by each child's individual interests and we springboard into discussions and research topics and we use daily life circumstances as learning opportunities. I admit, I was terrified and felt quite inadequate and insecure about my ability to prepare them for the future, even though I taught middle school and high school for 10 years.
Now that I have taken the dive, I must say I'm quite pleased. First of all, I just like having my kiddos home all day, every day. Since they have been adopted at an older age, I missed out on much of their lives and I love having the ability to make up some of that time now. Second, I no longer have to deal with making sure my children have the 'right' shoes or clothes to 'fit in'. That thrills me to no end and I'm sure they feel better not being teased. Third, I love that my kiddos are self-motivated to learn and are developing the skills to do that. I do not tell them what to learn many days. Some days I just require that they learn something new. I do require that they each read every day. Many days I give them math to do and I have been teaching them Spanish and a little American Sign Language as I teach my youngest two their days of the week, months of the year, counting, etc. They are all Hispanic, I figured they should know some Spanish. One has verbal processing issues so the sign language helps with his processing speed. Otherwise, they choose their topic of interest. One of my boys has an intense focus on music and taught himself how to read music, play keyboard, and compose music on a synthsizer. Now he is learning to play guitar. One loves sports, so we incorporate anything sports-related into reading, writing or math lessons. One loves animals and shopping. It is so easy for me to use those in a variety of lessons. The littles don't really have intense interests, yet. I love that they are all learning to observe things, ask questions about what they observe, then search for the answers. They do this almost completely on their own. Some days they read a lot of books. Some days they do a lot of research online. Some days we are out and about learning stuff in the community. I love my RV. I love traveling in it. Traveling in my RV full-time sometimes conflicts with adopting children from foster care so I do have to have a sticks and bricks house as a home base, at least until I'm done adopting.
We were due to hit the road Jan. 12, 2012. The weekend before, my exhaust system broke and my gas mileage went from 7mpg to 4mpg. I had to leave it in the shop for repairs but I was determined to head out. So we did ... in the minivan. Seven people, some with mood issues already, living out of a minivan can make some people quite cranky but we made the best of it. We got to meet some online friends face-to-face. That was an awesome experience. I'm so glad we were able to do that. We attended an RV rally for Full-time RV families and met other families who live on the road. I was relieved to learn that feeling exhausted all the time, every day, is normal when you start living on the road. We also met these families on a homeschool trip to Legoland where we built race cars and raced them and the older boys learned how to program robots. That was very cool. We decided, since we were in Florida, we might as well start at the very bottom and make our way northward back to NJ seeing everything we could see. So, we headed to Key West. We enjoyed the Keys, the sunset party, the beaches (minus the sand fleas that infested the minivan to the point that we had to flea bomb it), the glass bottom boat tour of the coral reefs, the self-guided tour at Bahia Honda State Park and we thoroughly enjoyed the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet. We did sample new foods we've never had before. Yummy.
From the Keys, we stopped in the Everglades. We completed the junior ranger programs for all 3 National Parks there, camped there, hiked and took many ranger-led tours. One memorable time was when my youngest (9) dropped her pencil into the alligator-filled lake and had a meltdown, demanding someone retrieve it for her. In a previous blog post I wondered how I would handle a meltdown or a runner on the road. I got to try that on for size. I did not like it. The meltdown was horrid. Quite embarassing. The runner ran but thankfully not far away. We were in a campground with a tent. He left the tent, snuck out, of our campsite even, while the rest of us were still sleeping. (House Rule #1: No one gets up until Mom does. House Rule #2: Running away is defined as leaving our property without permission and the nonrunners are rewarded with going out for ice cream.) He was with neighboring RVers but off 'our property' so the rest of us did go out for a treat and he missed out on some teen event later on. There weren't any other significant events, thank God. We visited Myakka State Park, too. Very nice. In addition, we visited many Florida beaches, collecting various shells and shark teeth, and cities. We went to Universal Studios and Island of Adventure and had a fantastic time. Our favorites include the Harry Potter section and the Simpsons and MIB rides but all of the rides were great fun and well worth the entrance cost. We also got to experience the Mardi Gras parade and the B-52s concert. We left Florida after Orlando to get the RV because the crankiness was beginning to increase in several teenagers but we did stop at Congaree National Park, SC, to do more junior ranger work, Myrtle Beach, and Greenbelt Park in MD (one of our favorite areas to travel to and where we stay every time we visit Six Flags America, Baltimore or Washington, DC) on our way home. Even though I was so excited about the gas mileage when we first started out, I don't think traveling in the minivan saved us any money because I probably spent the gas savings on fast food and campsites.
When all was said and done, we had a great time in between cranky moments and one of my kiddos, the moody runner, just may have made a break through in his healing process. It has been almost 2 weeks and he is still 'different' somehow. Two weeks is a record for him. Shoot, one week was a record. If he truly is not 'faking' his way through it, then I also am very thankful for that. Not for me. For him. I love him beyond measure, even with all the negative behaviors he has gotten so used to using. We learned so much science and history, among other things, on this trip. We can't wait until the RV is finished so we can head out again. In the meantime, I started some home improvement projects and have started preparing for my next adoption.
Now that I have taken the dive, I must say I'm quite pleased. First of all, I just like having my kiddos home all day, every day. Since they have been adopted at an older age, I missed out on much of their lives and I love having the ability to make up some of that time now. Second, I no longer have to deal with making sure my children have the 'right' shoes or clothes to 'fit in'. That thrills me to no end and I'm sure they feel better not being teased. Third, I love that my kiddos are self-motivated to learn and are developing the skills to do that. I do not tell them what to learn many days. Some days I just require that they learn something new. I do require that they each read every day. Many days I give them math to do and I have been teaching them Spanish and a little American Sign Language as I teach my youngest two their days of the week, months of the year, counting, etc. They are all Hispanic, I figured they should know some Spanish. One has verbal processing issues so the sign language helps with his processing speed. Otherwise, they choose their topic of interest. One of my boys has an intense focus on music and taught himself how to read music, play keyboard, and compose music on a synthsizer. Now he is learning to play guitar. One loves sports, so we incorporate anything sports-related into reading, writing or math lessons. One loves animals and shopping. It is so easy for me to use those in a variety of lessons. The littles don't really have intense interests, yet. I love that they are all learning to observe things, ask questions about what they observe, then search for the answers. They do this almost completely on their own. Some days they read a lot of books. Some days they do a lot of research online. Some days we are out and about learning stuff in the community. I love my RV. I love traveling in it. Traveling in my RV full-time sometimes conflicts with adopting children from foster care so I do have to have a sticks and bricks house as a home base, at least until I'm done adopting.
From the Keys, we stopped in the Everglades. We completed the junior ranger programs for all 3 National Parks there, camped there, hiked and took many ranger-led tours. One memorable time was when my youngest (9) dropped her pencil into the alligator-filled lake and had a meltdown, demanding someone retrieve it for her. In a previous blog post I wondered how I would handle a meltdown or a runner on the road. I got to try that on for size. I did not like it. The meltdown was horrid. Quite embarassing. The runner ran but thankfully not far away. We were in a campground with a tent. He left the tent, snuck out, of our campsite even, while the rest of us were still sleeping. (House Rule #1: No one gets up until Mom does. House Rule #2: Running away is defined as leaving our property without permission and the nonrunners are rewarded with going out for ice cream.) He was with neighboring RVers but off 'our property' so the rest of us did go out for a treat and he missed out on some teen event later on. There weren't any other significant events, thank God. We visited Myakka State Park, too. Very nice. In addition, we visited many Florida beaches, collecting various shells and shark teeth, and cities. We went to Universal Studios and Island of Adventure and had a fantastic time. Our favorites include the Harry Potter section and the Simpsons and MIB rides but all of the rides were great fun and well worth the entrance cost. We also got to experience the Mardi Gras parade and the B-52s concert. We left Florida after Orlando to get the RV because the crankiness was beginning to increase in several teenagers but we did stop at Congaree National Park, SC, to do more junior ranger work, Myrtle Beach, and Greenbelt Park in MD (one of our favorite areas to travel to and where we stay every time we visit Six Flags America, Baltimore or Washington, DC) on our way home. Even though I was so excited about the gas mileage when we first started out, I don't think traveling in the minivan saved us any money because I probably spent the gas savings on fast food and campsites.
When all was said and done, we had a great time in between cranky moments and one of my kiddos, the moody runner, just may have made a break through in his healing process. It has been almost 2 weeks and he is still 'different' somehow. Two weeks is a record for him. Shoot, one week was a record. If he truly is not 'faking' his way through it, then I also am very thankful for that. Not for me. For him. I love him beyond measure, even with all the negative behaviors he has gotten so used to using. We learned so much science and history, among other things, on this trip. We can't wait until the RV is finished so we can head out again. In the meantime, I started some home improvement projects and have started preparing for my next adoption.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Souvenirs of the Creepy Kind
I took my first trip with all 7 kiddos in our Class C. We wanted to go farther, and for a longer time, but current events are keeping us close to the sticks and bricks house this year.
We left NJ and stayed in the Greenbelt, MD area, boondocking at Walmarts and showering/dumping/filling at Greenbelt Park. We found some nice parks in that area where we hiked and played basketball and football and caught critters along the lake. We traveled around Washington, DC and Baltimore, mostly. We saw Arlington Cemetery, with the changing of the guard (although one little piss-ant missed that) and the Natural History Museum in Washington, DC. We had been to DC before so we only hit those two places, which we hadn't seen before. Tuesdays are free at that museum. Normally there's a fee. I parked at a meter but got a ticket for not moving after 2 hours. They were there 2 hours and 15 minutes after I had parked! They don't miss a thing, do they? I don't mind the $25 parking ticket. The parking garage would've cost as much and we were parked just outside the museum, so very little walking was involved. In Baltimore, we visited the Edgar Allen Poe House (the piss-ant almost missed this, too, but he sucked it up and muddled through it) and Fort McHenry, where we watched reenactors and helped change and fold the flag, and we rode the water taxi around the harbor. We also went to "Top of the World" (or whatever it's called). We spent a few hot days at Six Flags America and one day at the Jersey Shore.
I'd say most of us had fun most of the time. We enjoyed the dinosaur exhibit, Rich learned about the platypus, Arthur learned about otters, or was it sea lions?, which he says he's never heard of before. The littles liked everything. A few of the older boys got pretty crabby, at times. The piss-ant ran away 3 times in one day in DC. At the sticks and bricks house, we define running away as 'leaving the property without permission.' Well, it's pretty easy to 'leave the property' in an RV so we need to define an area around the RV but he went so far there was no mistaking it classified as running away. He was pretty hot and tired, add a little PTSD and voilà ... you get a runner. In our family, the consequence for running away is that everyone else gets to go out for ice cream. We tried, but the place we passed was sold out. Go figure. I had absolutely no intention of walking anywhere else in search of ice cream. My feet were screaming with pain. Believe it or not, though, that consequence works really well. I put it in place when my adult daughter, who was a constant runner, caused so much stress in the family I decided to reward those who didn't run. It has kept many a runner on my property.
I got pretty crabby myself, at times. Mine was a predictable crabbiness: every morning, when kiddos are unfocused and slow moving, and every night, when kiddos are unfocused and slow moving. lol. Their toy clutter on the floor is my biggest beef, as I don't appreciate stepping on it all on the way to the bathroom in the back. Me yelling about their toy clutter is probably their biggest beef. Ha, I tossed some toys out of the RV one night and threw away one of our basketballs ... seriously, how many basketballs do we really need for 4 boys? I'd think one is enough. Two, tops. One boy said he sat up until after midnight making sure no one was going to steal the toys sitting at the curb outside the RV! lol. I told him to put them away next time and he won't have to worry about that.
I still have to pull out the entertainment section of the RV to add another bench bed with storage underneath, as one kiddo doesn't have a bed and two of us don't have a cubby to store our clothes. The added storage space will help with the toy clutter issue. I have a few other toy storage ideas, too. Once that issue is resolved, I think the oldest boys will feel better about things. I had to fix a few things in the RV while we traveled, but nothing major. They really are not designed for long-term travel with a half dozen kiddos.
Since my kiddos are adopted, some from very hard places, they can have some pretty big attitudes. Plus, we have now entered the realm of teenagerdom. BIG attitudes. One has sensory issues and just doesn't like being surrounded by noise ... even tho he makes a fair bit of noise himself. Another has a little fit every time he doesn't get what he perceives he deserves, which happens pretty darn often. Another must win every argument or discussion. No. Matter. What. Still another is on the go constantly. And I mean constantly. I've never seen anything like it. Yet another is as slow as molasses, so I feel as though I'm being pulled in both directions, forward and backward, at the same time. Even with all that, I had a good time.
I was a bit crabby being back in the sticks and bricks house again. I admit, we did come home a little earlier than planned due to a few attitudes that just made each activity less fun for all, which was one reason I was crabby. Plus, we cleaned the house real good before we left and told my oldest son it had better look just as good when we return. Alas, the dogs went nuts when they were home alone while he was at work and they completely destroyed the place: garbage everywhere, curtains ripped or pulled off the walls, one even broke a bedroom window with his face and left blood all over the nearest bed, curtains, etc. My son attempted to clean it but ...
We are back to our sticks and bricks routine. The piss-ant, feeling badly about his part of the big attitude on the trip, decided today he'd be extra helpful to make up for any misery he may have caused the last few days of our trip. They really are very sweet, loving kiddos most of the time. We finally got up on time today, after two days of sleeping until almost noon, to get the two youngest boys off to summer school only to have one sent home with lice! ugh. I have never had lice in all my parenting years. I have no idea where he would've picked up lice on this trip but, since he shares a bunk, two of them had it. The two with long hair. So, now their beautiful locks are gone and I spent the day cleaning the house like I've never cleaned before. Tomorrow I'll tackle the RV. I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe the piss-ant will still be in his extra helpful mode. ;-)
We left NJ and stayed in the Greenbelt, MD area, boondocking at Walmarts and showering/dumping/filling at Greenbelt Park. We found some nice parks in that area where we hiked and played basketball and football and caught critters along the lake. We traveled around Washington, DC and Baltimore, mostly. We saw Arlington Cemetery, with the changing of the guard (although one little piss-ant missed that) and the Natural History Museum in Washington, DC. We had been to DC before so we only hit those two places, which we hadn't seen before. Tuesdays are free at that museum. Normally there's a fee. I parked at a meter but got a ticket for not moving after 2 hours. They were there 2 hours and 15 minutes after I had parked! They don't miss a thing, do they? I don't mind the $25 parking ticket. The parking garage would've cost as much and we were parked just outside the museum, so very little walking was involved. In Baltimore, we visited the Edgar Allen Poe House (the piss-ant almost missed this, too, but he sucked it up and muddled through it) and Fort McHenry, where we watched reenactors and helped change and fold the flag, and we rode the water taxi around the harbor. We also went to "Top of the World" (or whatever it's called). We spent a few hot days at Six Flags America and one day at the Jersey Shore.
I'd say most of us had fun most of the time. We enjoyed the dinosaur exhibit, Rich learned about the platypus, Arthur learned about otters, or was it sea lions?, which he says he's never heard of before. The littles liked everything. A few of the older boys got pretty crabby, at times. The piss-ant ran away 3 times in one day in DC. At the sticks and bricks house, we define running away as 'leaving the property without permission.' Well, it's pretty easy to 'leave the property' in an RV so we need to define an area around the RV but he went so far there was no mistaking it classified as running away. He was pretty hot and tired, add a little PTSD and voilà ... you get a runner. In our family, the consequence for running away is that everyone else gets to go out for ice cream. We tried, but the place we passed was sold out. Go figure. I had absolutely no intention of walking anywhere else in search of ice cream. My feet were screaming with pain. Believe it or not, though, that consequence works really well. I put it in place when my adult daughter, who was a constant runner, caused so much stress in the family I decided to reward those who didn't run. It has kept many a runner on my property.
I got pretty crabby myself, at times. Mine was a predictable crabbiness: every morning, when kiddos are unfocused and slow moving, and every night, when kiddos are unfocused and slow moving. lol. Their toy clutter on the floor is my biggest beef, as I don't appreciate stepping on it all on the way to the bathroom in the back. Me yelling about their toy clutter is probably their biggest beef. Ha, I tossed some toys out of the RV one night and threw away one of our basketballs ... seriously, how many basketballs do we really need for 4 boys? I'd think one is enough. Two, tops. One boy said he sat up until after midnight making sure no one was going to steal the toys sitting at the curb outside the RV! lol. I told him to put them away next time and he won't have to worry about that.
I still have to pull out the entertainment section of the RV to add another bench bed with storage underneath, as one kiddo doesn't have a bed and two of us don't have a cubby to store our clothes. The added storage space will help with the toy clutter issue. I have a few other toy storage ideas, too. Once that issue is resolved, I think the oldest boys will feel better about things. I had to fix a few things in the RV while we traveled, but nothing major. They really are not designed for long-term travel with a half dozen kiddos.
Since my kiddos are adopted, some from very hard places, they can have some pretty big attitudes. Plus, we have now entered the realm of teenagerdom. BIG attitudes. One has sensory issues and just doesn't like being surrounded by noise ... even tho he makes a fair bit of noise himself. Another has a little fit every time he doesn't get what he perceives he deserves, which happens pretty darn often. Another must win every argument or discussion. No. Matter. What. Still another is on the go constantly. And I mean constantly. I've never seen anything like it. Yet another is as slow as molasses, so I feel as though I'm being pulled in both directions, forward and backward, at the same time. Even with all that, I had a good time.
I was a bit crabby being back in the sticks and bricks house again. I admit, we did come home a little earlier than planned due to a few attitudes that just made each activity less fun for all, which was one reason I was crabby. Plus, we cleaned the house real good before we left and told my oldest son it had better look just as good when we return. Alas, the dogs went nuts when they were home alone while he was at work and they completely destroyed the place: garbage everywhere, curtains ripped or pulled off the walls, one even broke a bedroom window with his face and left blood all over the nearest bed, curtains, etc. My son attempted to clean it but ...
We are back to our sticks and bricks routine. The piss-ant, feeling badly about his part of the big attitude on the trip, decided today he'd be extra helpful to make up for any misery he may have caused the last few days of our trip. They really are very sweet, loving kiddos most of the time. We finally got up on time today, after two days of sleeping until almost noon, to get the two youngest boys off to summer school only to have one sent home with lice! ugh. I have never had lice in all my parenting years. I have no idea where he would've picked up lice on this trip but, since he shares a bunk, two of them had it. The two with long hair. So, now their beautiful locks are gone and I spent the day cleaning the house like I've never cleaned before. Tomorrow I'll tackle the RV. I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe the piss-ant will still be in his extra helpful mode. ;-)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Mending Broken Hearts
Mending? Maybe.
I started a blog because people would always ask "Do you have a blog?" so I finally made one. I had a hard time 'defining' it. I wanted it to reflect the fact that I parent, I parent alone, I parent many children (birth and adopted), and I parent on the road as often as I can. I also now homeschool, or unschool, or road school, a few of my children. I generally like to blog happiness. Good times. Silly times. Maybe even tough times with a positive spin. I try to keep my 'story' somewhat private. When I'm down or struggling, I keep it to myself and my closest friends. I know it'll pass. I know I'll get through it. I have complete faith. I trust that things happen for a reason and I'll get through them. I always have. However, there is this one topic regarding children (mine, yours, or any children) I just can't resolve within myself and feel the need to share it with someone. Anyone. The shoulder I would lean on is unavailable to me at this time and I need to unload this heartache. If you have a free shoulder, feel free to offer it up. I'm not too proud to take you up on the offer. I know others of you out there struggle with similar issues. That helps keep me sane.
My youngest birth child still lives at home. He just turned 20 and recently completed culinary arts training and is excited about finding a job in that field. I have 6, soon to be 7 (actually, tentatively soon to be 9) adopted children still at home. The process I went through to get approved to adopt then find 'my' children was pretty daunting. It felt like it took a long time but, looking back, it went pretty quickly. I adopted 6 children in less than 4 years. Has it only been 4 years? When I 'found' my children, I knew instantly in my heart they were mine from day one. They all were considered 'hard to place' kids. They came from hard places and/or have disabilities they struggle with. Usually, they do very well and I feel like a supermom. I feel good about myself and about who they are. I'm proud of them. I admire their strength, courage, and persistance. I consider myself blessed to have been chosen to be their mom. I am thankful daily that God has trusted me to raise these children. They are my life.
There are times, however, when I feel their pain, their loneliness, their loss, their broken hearts. My heart aches with theirs. I see babies in public being held by their parents, consoled, cared for, loved, guided and I immediately think to myself 'most of my children didn't have that' and I feel so sad. It also reminds me of the opportunities I never had holding, rocking, consoling, and loving my children when they were younger. Some had the complete opposite of that, actually. Most lived in foster homes. Some lived in many foster homes and some even lived in specialized programs because they couldn't manage themselves well enough to live in a foster home. Some bounced from home to home or program to program, struggling to find their place. To find a way to fit in. To find love and acceptance, even from themselves.
Living in foster care stinks. I know some awesome foster parents. I've met some really caring, exceptional workers. I still find that growing up in foster care, even with the best it has to offer, just stinks. The system functions in such a way that it just drives a person crazy. Adults and children alike. That's the nature of the beast. Necessary or not, it stinks. My adopted children have lost people in their lives. People they loved. Through no fault of their own, they have suffered loss and grieve it. They feel abandoned. Unloved. Unlovable. No matter how much I tell them I love them, rock them, hold them. No matter how many times I tell them how wonderful they are, they have a hard time seeing it. Feeling it. As I was trying to convince one that he is a good boy, worthy of love, he said, "Well, you are one of about four people out of the 600 people I've known in my life who has ever said that to me, so it's pretty hard to believe."
Many of my children, birthed and adopted, struggle with disabilities of some sort. My children each struggle with at least 2 of the following: autistic spectrum disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, ADHD, ODD, psychotic features, developmental delays, fetal alcohol/drug exposure, and attachment issues. I see how sociaty views my children. I see how my children are treated by others who don't know or don't understand. I watch strangers crinkle their noses up at my children and walk away. Their own (former) day care worker said to me, "I can understand adopting, and it's great and all, but children like these ... ????" "Children like these." Yup, that's what she said. I wondered what she sees when she looks at my children. My own birth family wants nothing to do with me and "those children". When asked if I intended to adopt again I answered with an emphatic "yes." "Tsk tsk" was the response. I've been asked by several people, "Why can't you just be happy with the ones you already have?" Hey, I am, that's why I want more. When people ask me, "why?" ... Why do I adopt ... I just feel like saying , "Why not?" I see how people look at me, as if to say, "Are you crazy?" Or they just say I'm a saint (then probably turn and say "or crazy"). Ha. A saint? No. I'm a mom. A devoted mom. A mom who loves the children God blessed her with with all her heart but I'll never get "Mother-of-the-Year" award. I make my fair share of mistakes. Every time I see that commercial recruiting foster parents ... "You don't have to be a perfect person to be a perfect parent" I think to myself "Thank God!" And thank God my children are forgiving. But, if I see the negative reactions of people in public every day, I know my children see it, too. Every day, each incident adds to their already broken heart.
I watch as the world passes my children by. I see it through their eyes these days. It looks much different now. People talk much too fast for them. People move too fast for them. Church sermons are spoken too fast. Songs are sung too fast. Stories are read/told too quickly and with big words they just don't understand. Words. OMG, don't get me started with words. It took months to differentiate between a napkin, paper towel, and tissue. Between a hood, hoodie, jacket, coat and sweater. Seriously. Why does it matter, you ask? Well, when your hands are greasy from fixing the bike and you quickly ask for a paper towel but you're brought a napkin, it just doesn't quite do the job. When your child is asked to remove his hood in school, and he starts quickly, nervously, taking off his zippered hoodie so as not to get in trouble at school (yet again) and cuts his neck with the zipper, you can see how simply removing the hood from his head would've been so much simpler yet he just didn't understand the words. When the HW says to "label the organelles" and the child draws a line to each diagram and writes "organelle" instead of writing "nucleus, ribosome, chloroplast, etc", you can see the problem with it. Every situation causes stress and anxiety for my children. Everyone is constantly annoyed with said child. Just their perception? Maybe. Perhaps nudged along by the glares, comments and criticisms of countless people in their lives.
So, what's a mother to do? I educate my children, of course. I supplement their education as often as I can. I also try to educate people along the way. Sometimes I get tired of it. Sometimes I get snippy with the strangers who don't know how to treat my children. Strangers who try to help them put their coats on because it takes them a little longer to do it, even though Mom is standing right there. Strangers who ask me if they can help my children do a simple daily task because my children take longer to do it. Teachers who call my children lazy and uncaring because they can't stay focused and are forgetful. Other parents who tell their children, "Oh, honey, I don't think they understand what you're saying" because my child didn't answer their child in the amount of time they'd expect an answer. A doctor and a teacher each told me that one of my boys is the "most involved" kid they've ever met. Really? Involved? He is my easiest child to parent! So pleasant. So funny. So smart, if you wait long enough to hear what he has to say. God give me patience to deal with these strangers. They must truly think I'm the meanest parent in the world for making my poor children do things for themselves.
Sometimes, my best just isn't good enough. Strangers always tell me what good children I have. What a good job I'm doing. My kids say I'm 'the best Mommy ever'. Yet, I can't fix everything. I can't make their fingers zip their coats or tie their shoes. I can't slow the world down to a pace they can keep up with. I can't take away their painful memories. I can't mend their broken hearts. And when they are hurting, I am hurting, and it is the most painful thing I've ever felt. When they are hating themselves, I'm supposed to be pleasant and upbeat. It's tough. I'm not good at pretending. I tell them all the good things about themselves knowing their not hearing me. They're not believing it. They won't buy into it because I'm only one out of the four people they've ever met to say such a thing. They think I must be crazy. They think I don't see who they really are because, if I did, surely I would see what they see, which is very negative, indeed.
Last month one of my boys was hurting. Deeply. No matter what I said or did, he was just so sure he was the worst, demon-possessed (his words) child on the face of this Earth, not worthy of love or even life. This month, another boy struggles with the same feelings, only this time in a hospital setting. Even though several of them have been hospitalized several times in their lives, none have ever been hospitalized while living with me. This is new for me. I miss that little bugger and it hurts to leave him there after each daily visit. When I visit, he watches the clock, dreading the minute visiting hour is over. He calls at each "call time" to say he wishes he could be home. It's only for a few days but a few days seems like an eternity. Even though I know he needs this level of care right now, it still hurts. A lot. A third struggles with pervasive sadness each and every day. It hurts knowing there isn't much I can do, personally, to 'fix' that for him. God knows I try but I'm not supermom. Some of my children were runners. Running away was their coping mechanism of choice. I've often wondered how I'd handle a runner out on the road. "Running away" is clearly defined as 'leaving the property without permission.' In an RV, "our property" is a little different and just isn't big enough to give the space needed at times. How would I handle a raging meltdown? Strangers don't take too kindly to hearing it. Can they punch holes in an RV wall? I hope not. I don't know how to fix those walls ... yet.
When I see my children laugh or smile, I wish I could capture that moment, freeze-frame it, and make it last forever. I give the very best I have to give and sometimes my best isn't good enough. That hurts. It hurts to see them hurting. Sometimes I mourn for the people, places and things they've lost. I mourn for the lost opportunities. For them and for me. Can hearts be mended? I suppose so, but they sure do crack open every now and again.
I started a blog because people would always ask "Do you have a blog?" so I finally made one. I had a hard time 'defining' it. I wanted it to reflect the fact that I parent, I parent alone, I parent many children (birth and adopted), and I parent on the road as often as I can. I also now homeschool, or unschool, or road school, a few of my children. I generally like to blog happiness. Good times. Silly times. Maybe even tough times with a positive spin. I try to keep my 'story' somewhat private. When I'm down or struggling, I keep it to myself and my closest friends. I know it'll pass. I know I'll get through it. I have complete faith. I trust that things happen for a reason and I'll get through them. I always have. However, there is this one topic regarding children (mine, yours, or any children) I just can't resolve within myself and feel the need to share it with someone. Anyone. The shoulder I would lean on is unavailable to me at this time and I need to unload this heartache. If you have a free shoulder, feel free to offer it up. I'm not too proud to take you up on the offer. I know others of you out there struggle with similar issues. That helps keep me sane.
My youngest birth child still lives at home. He just turned 20 and recently completed culinary arts training and is excited about finding a job in that field. I have 6, soon to be 7 (actually, tentatively soon to be 9) adopted children still at home. The process I went through to get approved to adopt then find 'my' children was pretty daunting. It felt like it took a long time but, looking back, it went pretty quickly. I adopted 6 children in less than 4 years. Has it only been 4 years? When I 'found' my children, I knew instantly in my heart they were mine from day one. They all were considered 'hard to place' kids. They came from hard places and/or have disabilities they struggle with. Usually, they do very well and I feel like a supermom. I feel good about myself and about who they are. I'm proud of them. I admire their strength, courage, and persistance. I consider myself blessed to have been chosen to be their mom. I am thankful daily that God has trusted me to raise these children. They are my life.
There are times, however, when I feel their pain, their loneliness, their loss, their broken hearts. My heart aches with theirs. I see babies in public being held by their parents, consoled, cared for, loved, guided and I immediately think to myself 'most of my children didn't have that' and I feel so sad. It also reminds me of the opportunities I never had holding, rocking, consoling, and loving my children when they were younger. Some had the complete opposite of that, actually. Most lived in foster homes. Some lived in many foster homes and some even lived in specialized programs because they couldn't manage themselves well enough to live in a foster home. Some bounced from home to home or program to program, struggling to find their place. To find a way to fit in. To find love and acceptance, even from themselves.
Living in foster care stinks. I know some awesome foster parents. I've met some really caring, exceptional workers. I still find that growing up in foster care, even with the best it has to offer, just stinks. The system functions in such a way that it just drives a person crazy. Adults and children alike. That's the nature of the beast. Necessary or not, it stinks. My adopted children have lost people in their lives. People they loved. Through no fault of their own, they have suffered loss and grieve it. They feel abandoned. Unloved. Unlovable. No matter how much I tell them I love them, rock them, hold them. No matter how many times I tell them how wonderful they are, they have a hard time seeing it. Feeling it. As I was trying to convince one that he is a good boy, worthy of love, he said, "Well, you are one of about four people out of the 600 people I've known in my life who has ever said that to me, so it's pretty hard to believe."
Many of my children, birthed and adopted, struggle with disabilities of some sort. My children each struggle with at least 2 of the following: autistic spectrum disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, ADHD, ODD, psychotic features, developmental delays, fetal alcohol/drug exposure, and attachment issues. I see how sociaty views my children. I see how my children are treated by others who don't know or don't understand. I watch strangers crinkle their noses up at my children and walk away. Their own (former) day care worker said to me, "I can understand adopting, and it's great and all, but children like these ... ????" "Children like these." Yup, that's what she said. I wondered what she sees when she looks at my children. My own birth family wants nothing to do with me and "those children". When asked if I intended to adopt again I answered with an emphatic "yes." "Tsk tsk" was the response. I've been asked by several people, "Why can't you just be happy with the ones you already have?" Hey, I am, that's why I want more. When people ask me, "why?" ... Why do I adopt ... I just feel like saying , "Why not?" I see how people look at me, as if to say, "Are you crazy?" Or they just say I'm a saint (then probably turn and say "or crazy"). Ha. A saint? No. I'm a mom. A devoted mom. A mom who loves the children God blessed her with with all her heart but I'll never get "Mother-of-the-Year" award. I make my fair share of mistakes. Every time I see that commercial recruiting foster parents ... "You don't have to be a perfect person to be a perfect parent" I think to myself "Thank God!" And thank God my children are forgiving. But, if I see the negative reactions of people in public every day, I know my children see it, too. Every day, each incident adds to their already broken heart.
I watch as the world passes my children by. I see it through their eyes these days. It looks much different now. People talk much too fast for them. People move too fast for them. Church sermons are spoken too fast. Songs are sung too fast. Stories are read/told too quickly and with big words they just don't understand. Words. OMG, don't get me started with words. It took months to differentiate between a napkin, paper towel, and tissue. Between a hood, hoodie, jacket, coat and sweater. Seriously. Why does it matter, you ask? Well, when your hands are greasy from fixing the bike and you quickly ask for a paper towel but you're brought a napkin, it just doesn't quite do the job. When your child is asked to remove his hood in school, and he starts quickly, nervously, taking off his zippered hoodie so as not to get in trouble at school (yet again) and cuts his neck with the zipper, you can see how simply removing the hood from his head would've been so much simpler yet he just didn't understand the words. When the HW says to "label the organelles" and the child draws a line to each diagram and writes "organelle" instead of writing "nucleus, ribosome, chloroplast, etc", you can see the problem with it. Every situation causes stress and anxiety for my children. Everyone is constantly annoyed with said child. Just their perception? Maybe. Perhaps nudged along by the glares, comments and criticisms of countless people in their lives.
So, what's a mother to do? I educate my children, of course. I supplement their education as often as I can. I also try to educate people along the way. Sometimes I get tired of it. Sometimes I get snippy with the strangers who don't know how to treat my children. Strangers who try to help them put their coats on because it takes them a little longer to do it, even though Mom is standing right there. Strangers who ask me if they can help my children do a simple daily task because my children take longer to do it. Teachers who call my children lazy and uncaring because they can't stay focused and are forgetful. Other parents who tell their children, "Oh, honey, I don't think they understand what you're saying" because my child didn't answer their child in the amount of time they'd expect an answer. A doctor and a teacher each told me that one of my boys is the "most involved" kid they've ever met. Really? Involved? He is my easiest child to parent! So pleasant. So funny. So smart, if you wait long enough to hear what he has to say. God give me patience to deal with these strangers. They must truly think I'm the meanest parent in the world for making my poor children do things for themselves.
Sometimes, my best just isn't good enough. Strangers always tell me what good children I have. What a good job I'm doing. My kids say I'm 'the best Mommy ever'. Yet, I can't fix everything. I can't make their fingers zip their coats or tie their shoes. I can't slow the world down to a pace they can keep up with. I can't take away their painful memories. I can't mend their broken hearts. And when they are hurting, I am hurting, and it is the most painful thing I've ever felt. When they are hating themselves, I'm supposed to be pleasant and upbeat. It's tough. I'm not good at pretending. I tell them all the good things about themselves knowing their not hearing me. They're not believing it. They won't buy into it because I'm only one out of the four people they've ever met to say such a thing. They think I must be crazy. They think I don't see who they really are because, if I did, surely I would see what they see, which is very negative, indeed.
Last month one of my boys was hurting. Deeply. No matter what I said or did, he was just so sure he was the worst, demon-possessed (his words) child on the face of this Earth, not worthy of love or even life. This month, another boy struggles with the same feelings, only this time in a hospital setting. Even though several of them have been hospitalized several times in their lives, none have ever been hospitalized while living with me. This is new for me. I miss that little bugger and it hurts to leave him there after each daily visit. When I visit, he watches the clock, dreading the minute visiting hour is over. He calls at each "call time" to say he wishes he could be home. It's only for a few days but a few days seems like an eternity. Even though I know he needs this level of care right now, it still hurts. A lot. A third struggles with pervasive sadness each and every day. It hurts knowing there isn't much I can do, personally, to 'fix' that for him. God knows I try but I'm not supermom. Some of my children were runners. Running away was their coping mechanism of choice. I've often wondered how I'd handle a runner out on the road. "Running away" is clearly defined as 'leaving the property without permission.' In an RV, "our property" is a little different and just isn't big enough to give the space needed at times. How would I handle a raging meltdown? Strangers don't take too kindly to hearing it. Can they punch holes in an RV wall? I hope not. I don't know how to fix those walls ... yet.
When I see my children laugh or smile, I wish I could capture that moment, freeze-frame it, and make it last forever. I give the very best I have to give and sometimes my best isn't good enough. That hurts. It hurts to see them hurting. Sometimes I mourn for the people, places and things they've lost. I mourn for the lost opportunities. For them and for me. Can hearts be mended? I suppose so, but they sure do crack open every now and again.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Busy, Busy, Busy ... and Now Sick
I put the kiddos to bed early and I'm headed there myself soon. I was just sitting here reading some blogs and felt like updating mine.
The boy didn't believe me about NJ winters. He didn't believe me when I said he needed to dress warmly every day. Even after he started walking to school in nothing but a hoodie as outerwear, even after he started shivering, he never came back to get a coat in that 30 degree weather ... again. He decided running to school would be better. Until ... he caught a cold. Not only did he catch one, he passed it on to the other family members, except Nathan and Joshua. They've been spared so far.
When he had a little cold and runny nose, I didn't feel too badly saying "Ha, I told you so." Now that he's been sick a week and missed a day of school so far, I do feel a little bad having said, "I told you so." He's got it bad.
The boy didn't want to be around me after I discovered he hadn't gone to see his teacher after school then lied about it ... No, he'd rather wallow in self-pity all alone ... But he DID want me to come to his aid when he woke up with an earache. OK, I did go to his aid, but in my mind I was saying, "See? I told you so" as he fell asleep snoring and gurgling on my lap. I must admit, I enjoyed the closeness he only seems to allow comfortably when he's asleep but I'm glad I did bring a book up to his room with me. I got a whole chapter of "Attachment-Focused Parenting" read while he slept there on my lap. Ironic, I thought, that I was starting that particular book at that particular time. In the meantime, my throat was killing me. It seems a few of the others have the same problem. Grrr.
I feel like I'm in transition at this point in my life. So many things are ahead and I'm not sure how it'll all play out but I'm looking forward to blogging about our adventures of remodeling the kitchen in the sticks and bircks house, temporarily hitting the road in the RV again, possibly homeschooling in the future, and adopting again ... and again. Should be a pretty exciting year.
The boy didn't believe me about NJ winters. He didn't believe me when I said he needed to dress warmly every day. Even after he started walking to school in nothing but a hoodie as outerwear, even after he started shivering, he never came back to get a coat in that 30 degree weather ... again. He decided running to school would be better. Until ... he caught a cold. Not only did he catch one, he passed it on to the other family members, except Nathan and Joshua. They've been spared so far.
When he had a little cold and runny nose, I didn't feel too badly saying "Ha, I told you so." Now that he's been sick a week and missed a day of school so far, I do feel a little bad having said, "I told you so." He's got it bad.
The boy didn't want to be around me after I discovered he hadn't gone to see his teacher after school then lied about it ... No, he'd rather wallow in self-pity all alone ... But he DID want me to come to his aid when he woke up with an earache. OK, I did go to his aid, but in my mind I was saying, "See? I told you so" as he fell asleep snoring and gurgling on my lap. I must admit, I enjoyed the closeness he only seems to allow comfortably when he's asleep but I'm glad I did bring a book up to his room with me. I got a whole chapter of "Attachment-Focused Parenting" read while he slept there on my lap. Ironic, I thought, that I was starting that particular book at that particular time. In the meantime, my throat was killing me. It seems a few of the others have the same problem. Grrr.
I feel like I'm in transition at this point in my life. So many things are ahead and I'm not sure how it'll all play out but I'm looking forward to blogging about our adventures of remodeling the kitchen in the sticks and bircks house, temporarily hitting the road in the RV again, possibly homeschooling in the future, and adopting again ... and again. Should be a pretty exciting year.
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